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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23232412">Everybody Hurts Here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwfulSummary_DecentStory/pseuds/AwfulSummary_DecentStory'>AwfulSummary_DecentStory</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Some Days Are Better Than Others. Some Are Worse. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Other, Too Many Tags Will Spoil The Broth, Unplanned Pregnancy, aaaaaaaangst, no beta we die like Glenn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:40:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,104</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23232412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwfulSummary_DecentStory/pseuds/AwfulSummary_DecentStory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hoebag Edelgard has her life spared because baby.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg/Others, My Unit | Byleth/Others</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Some Days Are Better Than Others. Some Are Worse. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Pregnant Edelgard gets beaten.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The clacking of wood against wood. The scraping of heels against stone. The labored breaths of a harried student versus the steady and near non-existent respiration of a beyond composed instructor. These sounds fill the void of silence within Garreg Mach's training grounds.</p><p>It takes every ounce of Edelgard's attention to block her professor's onslaught of attacks. The thought of setting up a counterattack, she realizes, is wishful thinking best left for another time. She grits her teeth as she defends a particularly nasty blow targeting her temple. The training sword she wields knocks against her head and she is sent tumbling to the cold stone floor. She lays there on her side, hurting, attempting to regain her breath.</p><p>"You've gotten better." Byleth stands before her student looking none the worse for wear. With the waxing moon at her back and her shadow cast over the defeated Edelgard, she strikes an imposing figure.</p><p>Edelgard scoffs, her eyes turning away from the unreadable visage of Byleth. "Hardly. I've yet to land a single blow against you in all these months."</p><p>Byleth says nothing for a time, instead standing and watching her student as she recuperates from their vigorous training session. Edelgard regards the older woman from the corner of her eyes, watching her watch her.</p><p>"That last strike was meant to hit you," Byleth says simply. And after a second of contemplation she adds, "...Directly."</p><p>Still on the floor, Edelgard shakes her head. "You were holding back."</p><p>"Of course I was," Byleth responds curtly.</p><p>Exasperation shows plainly on Edelgard's face. She decides to drop the conversation where it is and goes about picking herself up. Only she can't. When she puts weight on her left leg, she yelps and falls again. Almost immediately Byleth is at her side.</p><p>"Where are you hurt?"</p><p>The sudden closeness of her instructor leaves Edelgard's mind addled. Byleth kneels beside her with a hand bracing her back and her large bust pushed so very close to the girl's face. Even as Edelgard turns her face away, her nose is assailed by the professor's mild yet heady natural fragrance. She answers with rouge steadily spreading across her face. "My ankle. I think I twisted it when I fell."</p><p>Worry finds its way to Byleth's face. "I'm sorry."</p><p>Before Edelgard can disregard her instructor's apology, Byleth lets go of her and walks off with their training weapons in hand. She returns a moment later, empty-handed, and kneels once more. Her arms slip beneath the younger girl and she hefts her up to carry her bridal style.</p><p>"What do you think you're doing?! P-put me down this instant!" Edelgard sputters as she is picked up, her face now positively glowing. She unconsciously wraps her arms around her instructor's neck to steady herself as Byleth walks out the training grounds. She chances a glance at Byleth's face and finds her usual passive look adorning it.</p><p>"We need to get your ankle treated. Letting you walk on it will only exacerbate the injury."</p><p>"I suppose you have a point." The blush on her face remains, but Edelgard ceases to admonish her well-meaning instructor. Seeing no one else out she relaxes in the older woman's embrace, taking note of how toned her arms are, how warm she is, and inadvertently inhaling more of her extremely pleasant scent.</p><p>"Wait," Edelgard exclaims. She pushes away from Byleth, taking a good look at their surroundings. "This isn't the way to the infirmary. Where are you taking me?"</p><p>"It's not," Byleth responds. "I saw Professor Manuela carrying two bottles of wine to her room earlier. I don't think she'll be of any use right now. I have a few medical supplies in my room."</p><p>"I... I see." Edelgard goes quiet after that, opting to instead view the side profile of her instructor. She watches Byleth intently as they traverse the monastery grounds to her quarters. The blush upon her cheeks begins to recede, but her eyes grow fonder still. A silly idea makes itself known to her, and as she seeks to dismiss it, Byleth notices her gaze.</p><p>Byleth stops in her tracks, just a few steps shy of her door. "Edelgard, is something wrong?"</p><p>Their eyes meet, and Byleth's stare is as dispassionate as always; she thinks nothing of the way her student looks at her. Edelgard can feel this, the fact her instructor is incapable of comprehending or identifying the vibes being sent her way, and yet the silly idea she had been prepared to quash makes itself more pronounced within her mind.</p><p>"Edelgard?"</p><p>The girl tightens the hold she has on her teacher's neck. Edelgard pulls Byleth's face closer to her own while simultaneously closing her eyes. Their lips touch. She holds this position for but a few seconds before moving away, her tongue darting out to lick the other's lips as she does so.</p><p>When she opens her eyes again, Edelgard is treated to the sight of Byleth's still stoic face, her own once again burning a bright red. She sighs dejectedly and begins to apologize, but before even the first word can leave her mouth, she stops.</p><p>Slowly but surely red ekes out across Byleth's face. Her lips press together into a thin line and her whole body trembles so slightly.</p><p>"Wha... wha..." The normally impassive Byleth has been left utterly speechless. Edelgard takes the opportunity to follow through.</p><p>"I daresay I've fallen for you, my teacher."</p><p>Owlishly Byleth blinks. Her face has become entirely scarlet even up to her ears. She looks down and away from Edelgard. Very quietly she says, "I see."</p><p>"Do you like me as well?" Edelgard asks, her question milquetoast in nature so as to prevent an unfavorable answer.</p><p>"Like? Um..." Byleth's eyes flit between her feet and Edelgard's face. She has her. "...Yes, I do like you."</p><p>"I'm glad."</p><p>Edelgard uncouples an arm from around Byleth's neck and gently grasps her by the chin. She lifts her head back toward her own. She smiles at her and moves in for yet another kiss. Her lips move against her instructor's, parting them to allow an opening for her tongue. Byleth's eyes remain popped open and her tongue flaccid, while Edelgard's eyes have shut casually and her tongue encircles and deftly plays against her teacher's. The shuddery breaths escaping Byleth's nostrils titillate her student to no end.</p><p>Edelgard breaks the kiss with a sigh of satisfaction, the pad of her gloved thumb caressing the cheek of her still trembling Byleth.</p>
<hr/><p>The cacophony of war permeates the walls of the Adrestian throne room. Amidst a constant barrage of shouting and the clanging of steel, an explosion is both felt and heard. The twin doors barring the room from the chaos outside reverberate ominously from the impact. The battle draws nearer. The soldiers inhabiting the room brace themselves for the inevitable moment the doors come crashing down.</p><p>Edelgard, too, awaits this moment, all too sure of exactly who will be leading the charge. She sits on her throne, her fingers gripping the fine upholstery of the arms hard enough to rend them. She gnashes her teeth and bats her eyes wearily as exhaustion assails her along with the steady strumming of pain inside her head. In an effort to mitigate the pain, she lifts a hand to massage her temples but stops short when she experiences a sudden pressure on her ribs. She jolts in her seat and barely stifles a gasp. Once, twice, thrice more are her ribs assaulted and she very nearly cries out. When the movement in her belly has died down, finally does her hand reach her head.</p><p>A bolt of light hits the floor of the throne room, and in that previously unoccupied space now stands the enlightened one herself. Her entrance being so abrupt leaves the soldiers surrounding her no time to react before she raises her sword and unleashes its power upon them.</p><p>It all happens so quickly, by the time Edelgard herself notices the invader's presence half the room's combatants are already felled. The floor below her is already consumed by the turbulent energy and twirling blades of the creator sword. Screams of agony pierce her ears as she watches her soldiers be effortlessly shredded apart by the dozen. In the blade's last revolution, the tip passes just shy of her face in a long arc to the head of the one demonic beast held within the room. With one swipe, the helmet protecting the beast's crest stone is smashed, and with the next, so too is the stone itself. In a matter of seconds, the occupancy of the room has fallen from upward of one hundred to simply two.</p><p>The segments of the creator sword snap back into place, and its wielder rests the destructive weapon over her shoulder as her eyes scan the multitude of lifeless bodies and parts strewn across the floor for any sign of movement. Eventually they come to rest on Edelgard, and in them she sees nothing. The seafoam eyes glowing so vibrantly reveal a hollow heart, and inwardly she thanks their owner for that. She steels herself. She tries to.</p><p>Descending the stairs before her throne, Edelgard puts on a brave face. With her Aymr clutched firmly in her hand, she averts her eyes from the carnage surrounding her foe. "Professor... I suppose you think you can defeat me. Is that right? But I will never give up. Even if my arms and legs failed me, I would still find a way to move forward." She can hear it, and she is positive the professor can too, how her words acknowledge her probable defeat. She knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that she will not succeed here. The invasion had blindsided her. While she had expected an attack of some kind to spring forth from the resistance army, she had not expected this level of coordination, the aide of Almyra through Claude, nor for it to happen so soon. She thinks to herself, if she could have just prolonged the war for a few more months perhaps this moment would have played out differently.</p><p>"I will smash that false goddess and her minion into the ground! I will fight to free this world from her vile grasp!" Her declaration as bombastic as it is serves to fire her up, and as she reaches the ground floor she feels that familiar tingle in her veins that signals the activation of her crests. It is all for naught, however, as she is forced to her knees not even five seconds into the engagement. When they crossed weapons, she could see the confusion pass over Byleth's face, confounded by her frailty. When they parted, she was dealt a backhand across her face that more than sufficed to keel her over.</p><p>Aymr is rendered unusable, its crest stone shattered at some point during their exchange. Her cheek stings and blood trickles into her mouth and out her nose. She laughs. The one blow and she's already defeated, on the ground clutching her - Edelgard hastily removes her hand from her midsection, where it had gone instinctively in her fall. Glancing upward, she makes note of how intently Byleth watches her, the questioning look still persistent on her face.</p><p>She's hesitant, but her guard remains raised. Byleth's stoicism and resolve, like that of an edifice immobile, bears upon it a very fine fault capable of seeing to her downfall. Although she must, she does not wish to kill Edelgard. Two, maybe five words are all she needs for Edelgard to exploit this opening, but she refuses to speak them. She realizes that to prevail over Byleth would be a pointless endeavor. Her empire is in shambles. The opposing army is just outside her doors and prone to burst through any moment now. She knows the best course of action.</p><p>"It looks as though my path will end here..." Edelgard bows her head in defeat. Her grip on her relic goes slack as fatigue overtakes the brief rush of adrenaline she had experienced. "My teacher... claim your victory." She hears Byleth inhale but nothing comes after. "Strike me down! You must!"</p><p>"Even now, across this land people are killing each other. If you do not act now, this conflict will go on forever." Edelgard realizes just how silly she must sound making this assertion, she being the primary instigator of said conflict, but if anymore of a push is needed to see to her end she'll give it. "Your path... lies across my grave. It is time for you to find the courage to walk it."</p><p>Something crashes against the throne room doors followed by the dying wail of what must be a terrified soldier. A chorus of shouting and spell incantations pour into the room as the last of the castle defenders die off one after another. Dipping her head even lower to the ground, Edelgard mouths a silent prayer for her fallen. "If I must fall, let it be by your hand."</p><p>Finally, Edelgard hears Byleth moving toward her, sees her boots come close enough to be covered by her shadow. She wants to say nothing more, to just hang her head quietly and let the deed be done, but in her grief Edelgard cannot help but look up and utter a few final pathetic words. "I wanted... to walk with you..." And before her she sees not the resolute visage of her executioner nor the impending fall of a blade meant to spell her end. Byleth stands before Edelgard with her sword held limply in her hands and her eyes bloodshot, leaking, hollow and vacantly staring through the younger woman.</p><p>"Why didn't you tell me?" Byleth barely manages before she sinks to her knees. She discards her sword as her quiet crying gradually becomes a sobbing mess. She wipes at her face and her chest heaves and the sight leaves Edelgard more than dumbfounded. "Why didn't you tell me about the baby? I... I..."</p><p>The doors to the throne room burst open before Byleth can continue, before Edelgard can even ask how she knew.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Awful title. Awful summary. Maybe a somewhat entertaining story? I don't know. Elements normally restricted to a single route come into play.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Edelgard is unimpressed with her sleeping arrangements.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>During class when their eyes meet for the briefest of seconds, Edelgard flashes a smile that drives her teacher's eyes to the floor. When she catches sight of her within the dining hall, she steals the seat beside her, Hubert across from them both, and makes sure to brush up against her as much as possible. As they eat and intermittently discuss the content of their upcoming mission to the Kingdom of Faerghus, she lays a hand on Byleth's lap and hears the breath audibly catch in her throat. Hubert observes this all too nonplussed but says nary a word, for which Edelgard is grateful, because although she performs her flirtations with an air of confidence about her it is but a facade masking her rattling bundle of nerves.</p><p>Edelgard von Hresvelg is not a flirt. Romantic affection is something she has never once imagined herself being on the receiving end of let alone presenting to someone else. Yet here she is doing exactly that in an attempt to win over a terribly strong ally and to eliminate a disastrous potential enemy. The implications of her actions toward her professor set her head in a tizzy and damn near has her heart beating through her ribcage. She considers slowing down in her approach, but how can she when opportunities present themselves to her in abundance?</p><p>Evening has settled in by the time Edelgard spots Byleth seated on her own on the upper floor of the library. No other students, no faculty, no knights or monks populate the area. Thinking a chance has arose to pick up where she left off the night prior and not being one to let opportunity pass her by, she saunters over to her teacher taking a deep breath.</p><p>"Professor," Edelgard exclaims. She forgoes the chair beside her teacher, passing around her with a playful tap on her shoulder. She instead lifts herself to sit on the table at which Byleth is seated, gaining a vantage point against her doe eyed prey. She crosses her legs and places both hands on her knee.</p><p>"Catching up on a bit of reading, are you? We'll be departing for Kingdom territory the day after tomorrow. Wouldn't your time be better spent preparing for our excursion?"</p><p>Byleth glances upward, her lips pressed together in a thin line. "Just a moment." She returns her focus to her reading material. She takes her time finishing the page she's on before placing a marker and inclining her head to give Edelgard her undivided attention. "It's a starter book on white magic Manuela recommended to me. The upcoming mission will be too soon, but I think it will be beneficial to learn it for any that come after."</p><p>A bemused snort escapes Edelgard's nose. "That's quite proactive of you. Did my little accident last night truly trouble you so much?"</p><p>"I suppose it did motivate me somewhat," Byleth says, "but I've wanted to learn for some time. I haven't had an opportunity until I came to the monastery." Her eyes roam over to Edelgard's left ankle. "It seems like it isn't troubling you any more."</p><p>"Yes." Edelgard rolls the joint for emphasis. "I had Hubert bring me to Professor Casagranda before class this morning. She wasn't in the best state of being at the time," to put it lightly, "but she did her job well enough."</p><p>A smidgen of a smile graces Byleth's lips. "I'm glad."</p><p>That smile lights a fire within the pit of Edelgard's stomach. A pleasant warmth bubbles up in her core and spreads throughout the extremities of her body. It fills her thoroughly and emboldens her.</p><p>"It's been some time since you last invited me to have tea with you, professor. Would you care to join me for a hot cup of bergamot?"</p><p>"I wouldn't mind, but it's dark out now. It's also cloudy, so there won't be any moonlight to help us see." She tilts her head and rests it against her open hand, adopting a thoughtful expression. "Tomorrow is a busy day for me, but I may be able to schedule a tea time with you in place of lunch."</p><p>"That won't be necessary, professor." A little chuckle escapes Edelgard, giving rise to a curious look from her teacher. "This may be presumptuous of me, but why don't we use your quarters for tonight?"</p><p>Byleth's eyes widen a fraction, clearly caught off guard by the suggestion. Her eyes trail to the side away from Edelgard and she blushes, imperceptibly shaking her head at whatever she sees. "I don't know. Last night was one thing, but for me to bring a student into my room for something unrelated to class or training... It's..." Byleth finds her thoughts going astray when suddenly Edelgard places her hand on her own. The glove that usually adorns it has been removed, allowing Byleth to feel Edelgard's soft and warm skin. She swallows. "Indecent."</p><p>"What's indecent about me wanting to spend time with the one I care for?" Edelgard says feigning ignorance. "Don't you want to spend time with me, my teacher?"</p><p>Byleth's eyes flicker to her side repeatedly, and she mumbles something under her breath. Her face grows ever redder. "Yes. I do," she says. Her hand flips beneath Edelgard's, and through her fingers she threads her rougher, more calloused ones. She holds her hand tightly.</p><p>Edelgard barely suppresses a gasp at her teacher's brazen move. Her already drumming heart beats faster. "Okay," she says. "Then let's go."</p>
<hr/><p>As Edelgard awakens from her deathlike slumber, she is greeted to the sight of a shifty pair of grey eyes just centimeters from her face. They halt in movement as the owner registers that Edelgard's own lilac eyes, previously shut, are now open.</p><p>Bernadetta launches off of Edelgard with a deafening shriek. Her hip clips the edge of a nearby nightstand and she collapses with a painful wail.</p><p>"It hurts, it hurts," Bernadetta cries aloud.</p><p>The von Varley girl's display of misfortune would have elicited either a pitiful sigh or chuckle from Edelgard five years ago, but after years of separation and having chosen opposing sides in the war, all she can do is stare at the girl perplexedly.</p><p>"Where am I?" Edelgard wants to say, but her voice is hoarse, her mouth devoid of any moisture, and her lips chapped and in danger of bleeding from any more attempts to move them. She instead coughs, painfully, uncontrollably, and so hard tears may have begun to bud at the corners of her eyes had she the ability to produce any at this point.</p><p>Upon hearing the hacking and wheezing of the bedridden Edelgard, Bernadetta forgets her own pain and leaps up from the floor to snatch the pitcher of water and a glass from atop the nightstand she hit. She fills the glass quickly and moves beside the bed, working to sit Edelgard upright. Shakily she feeds her the water as she rubs and supports her back.</p><p>Once the first glass is emptied, Edelgard hastily demands "More." Bernadetta pours her another full glass and she is only to happy to chug it. She drinks it greedily with excess water dribbling from her mouth and down her chin and until the pitcher is empty. With her thirst sated she mutters a torpid "Thank you". She raises a hand to wipe the water from her face. It rises, but with it comes a suspicious weight alongside the sound of clinking metal.</p><p>Edelgard looks down to find her wrists shackled. A length of chain extends from either one, past her, and lay bolted into the stone wall immediately behind her and the bed she sits in. Her eyes dart around the room from corner to corner. She only grows more confused. Apart from the chain and shackles used to restrain her, it appears completely normal.</p><p>"What's going on?" she says, her breathing growing erratic.</p><p>Bernadetta slinks back from Edelgard's bedside with a start, fumbling about the glass in her hands. She gulps and clams up, her eyes on Edelgard yet looking a thousand yards past her at the same time.</p><p>"Bernadetta," Edelgard tries to say as sternly as she can, but her constitution is weak and so is the delivery. Nonetheless, it hits the violet haired girl much the same.</p><p>"All I know is you're dead but you're not and you're here and the professor has been way more confusing than usual lately and it's my turn to watch you and we've got to go underground to fight these guys crawling in the shadows in like a month or something and... I-I don't know. " Bernadetta shakes her head wearily. "It's all so hard to understand. I just want to go to my room and eat cake," she whines.</p><p>Bernadetta's verbal vomit is a mess to wade through in her current state, but Edelgard manages albeit slowly. "You're going to confront those who slither in the dark? How did you learn their location?"</p><p>"Hubert left us a note." Neither of the room's occupants had heard tell of a third person entering - Edelgard far too physically and mentally deficient to focus on more than one thing at a time, while Bernadetta never could utilize her uncanny sense of perception when not on the battlefield.</p><p>The voice is easily recognized. It causes a tightness in her chest, and she knows not what emotion is tied to it. Fear, anger, or perhaps a longing to once more see the owner of that voice. Slowly does Edelgard tear her eyes off the jittery Bernadetta to regard the newcomer.</p><p>Byleth stands within the doorway, a tray of food in hand. She looks the bedridden girl up and down, watching how she withers under her gaze. She moves over to Bernadetta, setting the tray down along the way, to take away the glass and pitcher and return them to their place on the nightstand. She places a hand on her student's cheek and smiles at her tenderly. "Thank you for watching her for me, Bernie. You did a great job. You can go ahead to dinner now. They're making your favorite saghert and cream."</p><p>Bernadetta's jitters altogether stop at Byleth's soothing touch. She leans into it, grasping the hand on her face and nuzzling it as if it were her mother's. "You're welcome, professor. Um... yeah, I'll head there now." She releases her teacher's hand with a wistful sigh and makes for the door. As she's heading out she looks toward Edelgard one more time.</p><p>"For what it's worth, I am glad you're alive."</p><p>The door shuts and the room grows still. The sound of Bernadetta's footfalls carry through the residence all the way up to another closing of a door. Byleth moves then. She picks up the tray she set down and pulls a chair over to the bedside from beneath a desk situated on the wall opposite the bed. She sits down and situates the tray on her lap and readies a spoonful of soup looking over to Edelgard expectantly.</p><p>Edelgard, for her part, feels the agitation inside her head mount. Grasping at the chains, she turns to Byleth with her eyes narrowed and her breathing erratic. Though these shackles and chains do not enclose her neck, she still feels their tightness there. "What is the meaning of this? What are you-"</p><p>"Quiet," Byleth interrupts the ensuing panic attack before it has a chance to start. "Calm down and eat. I know you're hungry." She appears as cool as ever with her piercing seafoam eyes. She moves the spoon closer to Edelgard's mouth, urging her to open up. Reluctantly, she does so. "Good girl."</p><p>The spoon-feeding continues quietly and at a sedate pace with Byleth intermittently breaking off pieces of bread to go with the soup. She neither speaks nor allows any discourse on the other's part until all food items have disappeared from the tray. The food now gone, Byleth settles into her chair with one leg crossed over the other. "Okay. Now let's talk."</p><p>Edelgard wipes her mouth with her shackled hand, humiliation burning upon her face. "I assume we're at the monastery." A nod. "Yet I have no recollection of the journey here."</p><p>"You looked like you hadn't slept for days, so I asked Lysithea to put you into an induced coma. It's been little more than two days since then."</p><p>Edelgard ruminates over the thought of her being unconscious for the past two days. The fates of her people, her country, her ambitions... While she slept, they had all been snuffed out. Yet how cruel it is she remains alive in their place. Perhaps her captors plan to punish her by having her see the very world she sought to destroy be restored? The thought of that alone gives her the urge to bite her tongue.</p><p>"If you have no more questions to ask, I'll pose a few to you."</p><p>Byleth's voice cuts through her haze of negative thoughts and forces Edelgard to focus on the here and now. "There is much I still have to ask you. Namely what more you know of those who slither in the dark and exactly what Bernadetta meant about me being dead. What on earth did she mean?"</p><p>The room grows quiet. Byleth doesn't answer Edelgard's question right off. She sits and says nothing for the longest time, opting to instead let her dimly glowing eyes roam up and down the form of the young woman before her. The look unnerves Edelgard, and she pulls her quilt over her more; the garb she had been dressed in while adequate shows more skin than she's comfortable with. Byleth finally speaks. "We know just as much as you do about them. And concerning what Bernadetta said... It's exactly as it sounds. After putting you to sleep, we stripped you of your armor. We placed it on the corpse of an imperial soldier similar to you in build, took her head off, and announced you as deceased."</p><p>Byleth's matter of fact delivery of the grisly details of her faked death do very little to comfort Edelgard. Much the opposite. Although, she imagines there isn't much in the way of words to soften the impact of one being told they no longer exist.</p><p>"How far along are you, Edelgard?" The question comes up abruptly. Byleth's harried tone of voice and the way she drags her fingers through her hair uncharacteristic of her. It coming after the knowledge of her framed death has Edelgard stumbling over her words.</p><p>"That is no concern of yours," Edelgard answers indignantly. She watches how Byleth bristles in response, and the thought that maybe she should have said something else crosses her mind. The odd display of emotion, as subtle as it is, makes Edelgard worry that she may have been too hurtful. Still, she suppresses the urge to apologize.</p><p>For the most part, Byleth manages to rein in her temper, though her hands remain knuckled white in her lap. Catching the split second Edelgard's eyes dart to her fists, she flexes them open and takes a deep breath to fully dispel her aggression. "Is it really not? Edelgard," she averts her gaze to the floor and her voice grows somber, "I need to know for certain."</p><p>Since her own discovery of her pregnancy, Edelgard had tried to think on the matter as little as possible. Names, the baby's sex, and all manner of things pertaining to it had been kept far from the forefront of her mind. The one thing she thought of constantly, however, was when she would no longer be burdened with this affliction. "I would say I'm roughly six months along. Make of that what you will."</p><p>Byleth's head being angled down the way it is prevents Edelgard from seeing her expression, and whatever she says is spoken in such a hushed tone that Edelgard can't even comprehend it. What she does notice, however, are the few tears that plop against the back of Byleth's bracers, how her hands are once again in fists, and how bits of red eke out from the folds of her palms. These restrained emotions wallop her own heart, and before she even knows it, Edelgard is reaching out to provide her comfort.</p><p>"Professor... Byleth, I-"</p><p>The shackles encircling her wrists come into view and Edelgard stops. The chains are at an adequate enough length that she need not worry about being stopped short, but she ceases her movements all the same. If Byleth heard her calling out to her, she shows no sign of it.</p><p>Distantly, a knocking is heard. It distracts Edelgard enough to look away from Byleth and down in the direction it comes from. When she turns her head back around, Byleth is already standing up. Her eyes are visibly clear, no tear stains mar her face, and her hands show not a trace of blood.</p><p>"That must be Dorothea." Byleth takes in hand the now empty food tray and makes for the door. Edelgard makes note of her stiff movements. "She and Mercedes will be your primary caretakers. Bernadetta and... Bernadetta and someone of my choosing will also keep watch over you at times. I... I'll be around." She freezes just at the door and looks back at Edelgard as if to give her a chance to say something more before she departs. Or perhaps to say something herself.</p><p>Neither of them say anything. They share a look between the two of them but far too much goes unsaid for anything to be conveyed.</p><p>Byleth leaves without another word.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I initially started writing this because I wanted to see an alternative to Edelgard dying because I actually like her character a lot, but I also greatly dislike Crimson Flower for a number of reasons. The theme of this work is Recollection and Regret and the reason why the chapters are split between Academy Phase and War/Post-War Phase.</p><p>May be obvious but I primarily listened to 'Recollection and Regret' from the Three Houses OST to write these first few chapters; that along with 'Puzzle' by Round Table Feat. Nino . I'll probably mention a couple more songs I listened to for inspiration at key moments in the story.</p><p>Thanks for taking a look at this mess I call decent.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Fat Edelgard ugly cries.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The aftermath of battle brings with it a sense of relief. As the once proud Lonato topples from his horse, his head split in two, so too does the need for combat wane. The fall of his lifeless body is accompanied by a scream. Byleth does nothing to hold him back as Ashe runs to kneel at the side of his adoptive father. Catherine follows suit soon after, laying a hand on the boy's back as he sobs into the deceased lord's breastplate.</p>
<p>Byleth watches for a moment, not a hint of emotion marring her doll-like face, but from within her slowly ekes out a cold and distressing feeling brought along with the sound of Sothis's voice. The incorporeal girl laments the violence, speaking both to Byleth and to no one at the same time. Now disturbed by the scene Byleth walks away, a slight grimace on her lips. With a flick of her wrist, she expertly removes the excess of blood and brain matter from the surface of her Wo Dao, and with a cloth produced from the pocket of her coat, she fully wipes clean the razor edge that had so easily cleaved through Lonato.</p>
<p>"Perhaps it was a mistake to bring the boy along after all." Hubert is the first of her students Byleth happens upon. The sinister looking young man chuckles quietly as she passes him. "Trying to talk him out of his rebellion at this stage was undoubtedly a pointless endeavor. It does make me curious however... What could have pushed Lord Lonato to this point?"</p>
<p>Byleth largely ignores Hubert, regarding him for but a second to assess his person for any untended injuries. She continues on by him more than certain he requires no aid given the nature of his remarks. She proceeds to Edelgard who sits on a pile of rubble not much farther away. The girl sits with her leg up, her axe resting on her boot as she wipes it clean and inspects it for any undue damage. Upon taking notice of Byleth coming her way she stops and stands up to greet her teacher.</p>
<p>"Are you uninjured?" Byleth asks.</p>
<p>"Yes. I was fortunate enough to come out of the battle completely unscathed. The other students however..." Edelgard looks sidelong, towards her more visibly distraught house members. She sees Linhardt's prone form bent over, hands on his knees, vomiting profusely. Not far off Caspar stomps about the area, cursing and throwing his fists at the nearest tree he can wallop. "Everyone was a bit shaken by the militia fighting alongside our enemies."</p>
<p>"Sometimes we are forced to kill those we would rather not. That is the reality of battle." In an effort to justify and lighten the impact of their actions, Byleth steals a line from her father - one she had not heard in years herself. How nice it would be were her students as unflappable as herself or Hubert. She'll need to pull each aside for a one-on-one discussion of the day's events before long, so says Sothis.</p>
<p>"If only everyone could face reality so unflinchingly. The commoners who allied themselves with Lord Lonato believed they were fighting for a just cause. It would be disrespectful to consider them just victims when they died for what they believed in. Still, we have no choice but to eliminate those who cling to unreasonable ideas of justice. Even if our enemies are the gods themselves... we must never lose sight of our goal."</p>
<p>"Huh?" Byleth exclaims. She blinks owlishly, frankly caught off-guard by the drastic turn the conversation had taken. Frowning, shaking her head she says, "That's taking it a bit too far."</p>
<p>"Is it?" Edelgard raises her question with a hint of challenge in her voice. "Such a day may come whether you expect it or not. You should be ready."</p>
<p>For her part, Byleth is at a near loss for words. Never had she been one to talk at length, let alone debate another person. She means to behave as usual, to hold her tongue and allow her opposition to have the last word, but the incessant nattering of her vessel's co-occupant urges her to do otherwise. Neither can comprehend the source of it, but an all too palpable discomfort emerges from Sothis. Its unpleasantness wells up inside Byleth, shared to her without her consent. She gives in to the girl's whims and racks her brain for an appropriate response to Edelgard's provocation. Perhaps none too surprising she finds herself relying on her father's wisdom once more.</p>
<p>"Violence isn't the only means for eliminating the enemy; although, it usually is the most reliable. In my father's words, 'our blade breaking has to do with more than just the physical act itself.' During our time as mercenaries, I've personally witnessed him convince our foes to lay down their arms in favor of negotiation nearly as many times as we've had to rout them. Discussion before now may have prevented these deaths." The discomfort within Byleth wanes as Sothis lauds her, her own head nodding lightly as she too finds her words to be satisfactory.</p>
<p>Edelgard's eyebrows nearly shoot off her face. She never imagined her soft-spoken teacher could say so much at once, and unbeknownst to her Byleth feels the very same. "You're much more insightful than I first assumed, professor. Jeralt as well. I will keep your words at heart."</p>
<p>"But really, I'm just like Lonato. I, too, will be the sort of ruler who's willing to risk the lives of my citizens in service of a higher cause. It's not possible to change the world without sacrifice. Dying for the greater good is not a death in vain."</p>
<p>"Is that how it is?" Byleth looks by and far unimpressed. She rests her sword on her shoulder and moves forward with a slow gait. She pauses for a moment beside her student, eyes appraising the trampled forest floor. They roam over to the still sobbing Ashe, and that distress she had experienced earlier returns. "For your sake, I hope that you aren't just like Lonato."</p>
<p>"A dead leader will effect no change."</p>
<p>Her teacher's words strike a chord of truth, and Edelgard begrudgingly acknowledges that. "Point taken." Watching the older woman walk away, she feels as though she has said too much too soon. The thought that she may have soured relations between them gnaws at her.</p>
<p>"Professor," Edelgard says. "I trust you remember our teatime for this evening. Or has this whole debacle impeded that?"</p>
<p>Byleth, in route to her next student, stops in place. She turns back to Edelgard with her mouth poised to deliver what the girl dreadfully anticipates to be rejection. "I think it may be for the best if we..."She trails off mid-sentence, eyes still fixed on Edelgard, widening then narrowing in response to something unseen. She shakes her head and says with finality, "No, it hasn't. Although, it may be later than planned."</p>
<p>Relief overcomes Edelgard and visibly shows across her face. "Truly? I'm glad to hear that. For a moment there I thought... It doesn't matter. You were going to check on the others, yes? I'll split the task with you." With their relations mended, Edelgard beats a hasty retreat before anything more can be said. She resolves within herself to tread more lightly in the future.</p><hr/>
<p>Edelgard quickly comes to learn that her shackles are more for show than to actually keep her bound to one spot. On the first night Dorothea spends with her, she asks to be delivered to the washroom and off they come. There is no trade-off for a less stationary pair of cuffs, and although Dorothea does hover over her, it is wholly out of support to her wobbly self rather than as a jailor. Initially, she figures this may be due to some bias on the songstress's part, but she begins to think otherwise when Mercedes does the very same of her own accord.</p>
<p>"It's important that you remain ambulatory," Mercedes says as she leads Edelgard out of bed. She takes her not only through the residence she's kept in but outside as well. "And you also need plenty of sunlight too!"</p>
<p>Outside is a modest courtyard bordered on three sides by the walls of the manor, one side by the wrought iron gate leading to a stone cobbled road. Edelgard now recognizes her place of captivity as the Knights of Seiros captain's residence. It sits a ways away from the other knights' residences, far removed from the monastery itself. She recalls that Byleth once told her how Jeralt preferred sleeping in the knights' group lodgings given its closer proximity to the monastery proper and the captain's quarters.</p>
<p>Moving closer to the iron gate barring her exit, Edelgard sees a bobbing armored foot just past it. She looks over her shoulder and sees Mercedes a half step behind, smiling, taking no action to stop her from getting too close to the gate. She wraps her hands around its bars and presses her face against them just enough to see who sits outside the manor.</p>
<p>Stationed outside the captain's manor is Sylvain. He sits beside the gate with a book in hand, a table beside him holding a glass of cool black tea and a parasol providing him shade. He looks up from his book a little stunned to see her, but his surprise quickly fades as his all too common smug smirk takes its place on his face. "Well, if it isn't former emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg. Man, you're absolutely glowing today. How does it feel being back at the monastery you tried and failed to destroy?"</p>
<p>Edelgard grimaces. "Gautier," she says with as frigid a tone she can manage. From the limited number of interactions they had shared in which Hubert had not been around to threaten him and vehemently rebuke his presence, Edelgard remembers Sylvain as nothing more than a lazy and uncouth playboy. She wonders why, of all people, he is appointed as one of her jailors. A half dozen people more qualified for the task come to mind.</p>
<p>"She really is glowing, isn't she?" Mercedes chirps in, seemingly ignorant of the frosty exchange. But then she adds, "Oh Sylvain, please do try not to bring up any hard feelings while you're on duty. A mother's level of stress has detrimental effects on the development of her baby."</p>
<p>"My humblest apologies, Mercedes. That truly was uncalled for. I won't do it again." Sylvain's words roll off his tongue in a most patronizing way. His insincere smile and the smarmy wink of his eye draw Edelgard's ire just as much. "On another note, you're rather maternal yourself, Mercedes. When are we going to get around to making those crest babies?"</p>
<p>"Ugh. I'm ready to go back in now." Edelgard pushes away from the gate with disgust laden in her voice. Even if it was said in jest, the mention of "crest babies" makes her stomach turn. She hurries away from the gate and back indoors before she retches.</p>
<p>Mercedes is quick to follow and makes sure to take the full brunt of Edelgard's weight as she helps her ascend the flight of stairs that leads back up to her room. Edelgard tries to push her away and claims that she can walk just fine, but her labored breaths and stalling on the stairs tell a different story. In the end, she can't help but allow Mercedes to hold her up. Admittedly, even as engorged as she is, Edelgard is still light, but it embarrasses her all the same leaning so heavily on another person - especially a former foe.</p>
<p>"Why are you doing this?" Edelgard grunts.</p>
<p>Less taken aback and more confused by the question, Mercedes says, "I'm sorry?"</p>
<p>"Little time has passed since we were at each other's throats. It's because of me that your country, your king and your brother are gone. I'm the one responsible for their demise. Don't you hold any resentment toward me? Why attend to your enemy? Why not take the opportunity to end me?"</p>
<p>"You knew of my and Emile's relation?" Shock is evident in Mercedes's voice, but she quickly shakes her head to rid herself of it. Recomposed she answers. "But no. I am saddened by the circumstances, but I haven't the room in my heart to hate or resent you, Edelgard."</p>
<p>Her answer nearly makes Edelgard lose her footing, but Mercedes's firm grasp keeps her upright. Edelgard gnaws on her bottom lip in consternation. "Even then, to be so close to me... These circumstances... How can you put up with it?"</p>
<p>The faintest of smiles graces Mercedes's lips. Her eyes cast downward imbue in themselves a subtle intensity. This look unnerves Edelgard. "It is my desire to be of service to the goddess and to give aid to all those who need it. When the professor asks for my assistance, it's only natural that I give it, don't you think?"</p>
<p>At mention of the goddess, Edelgard recoils, wanting so badly to declare her existence a hoax even in her feeble state. Miraculously, she holds her tongue.</p>
<p>"I suppose so," Edelgard says weakly. She decides to let the matter go. Pressing it, she feels, will only leave her more confounded.</p>
<p>Mercedes delivers her the rest of the way to her bed and replaces her shackles, muttering a "sorry" as she does so. Edelgard attempts to keep conversation to a minimum for the remainder of her time with Mercedes, but the jovial priestess cannot help but strike up a chat whenever she finds the silence has become too overbearing. It is not all bad, as Edelgard does come to learn who has been appointed to mind her and guard the residence. Mercedes and Sylvain take the morning, Bernadetta and Marianne (and by extension Hilda) the afternoon, and Dorothea and Constance the night (this she had already deduced from the loud, audacious cackling that erupted so frequently throughout the past nights). While Mercedes, Bernadetta, and Dorothea attend to her needs indoors, the others remain outside the manor, barring entry to all not permitted by Byleth herself. Edelgard's containment is simple but effective.</p>
<p>Before long Bernadetta arrives to replace Mercedes. She brings with her a tray filled with foodstuff, some of which Edelgard can barely stand the sight of. It must show on her face.</p>
<p>"Is something wrong with your food?" Bernadetta looks over at Edelgard concerned, lowering the knitwork she had only just removed from her satchel.</p>
<p>"No. It's fine." Edelgard picks at her food for a time but lifts her spoon in the end. She is no stranger to stomaching unappetizing meals, her time within the dungeons of Enbarr coming to mind, but the most applicable memories perhaps being time spent within the palace over the past five months. Amidst odd cravings for meat and the urge to eat more and more were even queerer aversions to her favorite dishes. She had found within herself the ability to deny these urges, continuing to eat as she had done for so long despite the noticeable toll it would take on her body. This all in an effort to not expose her affliction to her allies or Thales and his lot.</p>
<p>"You're sure? You look like you're ready to murder it. I figured this was all stuff you like, but I can make something else next time if you want."</p>
<p>"You're preparing my meals? I had heard the monastery was the base camp of the resistance army and Leicester Alliance. With an army large enough to besiege Enbarr there should be an abundance of cooks here. Why not leave the task to them? They wouldn't even need to know for whom they cook."</p>
<p>"Actually, it's the professor who's made the majority of your meals up to now," Bernadetta clarifies, "but she's got a lot on her plate so it's partly become my job too. She said she didn't trust anyone else to handle your food. I can kinda understand why. If it got out that you're being kept here, a lot of people would want you dead. You know, on account of the war..." She freezes and gingerly looks over at Edelgard whose attentiveness she mistakes for stony-faced aggression. She shakes her head vigorously. "N-Not me though! I mean, it was pretty bad, but I'm super thankful you put my father on house arrest for so many years, and the professor says she may outright exile him! Wouldn't that be wonderful?"</p>
<p>Edelgard mulls over the details and supposes she can understand Byleth's over-protectiveness. Grudgingly, she takes another bite of her food. "Nice as it sounds, the professor hasn't the authority to exercise such an act, Bernadetta. That's something best taken up with the leader of this new Fódlan. In other words, Claude."</p>
<p>"Um, yeah! Right. Claude. I'll do that." Bernadetta's voice trails off in a most conspicuous manner, but Edelgard thinks nothing of it, attributing the young woman's awkward delivery to her usual behavior.</p>
<p>Painstakingly, Edelgard powers through Bernadetta's thoughtfully prepared meal. Knowledge of the other woman's hand in her meal preparation does somewhat alleviate Edelgard's disgust, allowing her to successfully clean her plate. She sets her utensils down on the tray and can't help but snort in derisive amusement as she does so.</p>
<p>What right does she have to frown upon her food? She sits more of less comfortably in a warm bed, in clean garments, with access to a warm bath and far too kind caretakers. This is more than she had afforded Rhea by a long shot. The inequity of their confinements does not sit well with Edelgard, but she knows if she were to be subjected to the same conditions Rhea had-for a second time in her life-she would not hold out. This conflict of conscience makes it all the more regrettable that she lived past the siege of Enbarr.</p>
<p>"I ask that you pay me no mind, Bernadetta. Continue cooking as you have. I should have no say in what meals are prepared for me. Really, I don't deserve to be eating so well. Thank you."</p>
<p>"It's really no big deal," Bernadetta shrugs. She sets the tray of dirty dishes to the side and takes her seat. She giggles and resumes her knitting. "You looked like you weren't hating that meat pie at all, so I'll be sure to give you an extra helping tomorrow."</p>
<p>Edelgard's cheeks flush at the thought of her being observed enjoying something so aberrant to her usual tastes. She suggests again that Bernadetta ignore her, but the young Von Varley woman persists in dismissing her concerns. She relents before it begins to agitate her, saying, "Do as you wish."</p>
<p>"I imagine there is much contention among those of you who know of my being here over the matter of keeping me alive." She decides to move the conversation along and to probe for more information on the state of affairs within the monastery.</p>
<p>"Eh, kinda but not really. Pretty much everyone in favor of you, um, not being alive," Bernadetta shifts uncomfortably in her seat, "also doesn't want your baby to... not be alive. But I guess there are those few who are okay with that too."</p>
<p>"Are they now? I dare say those few have the right idea."</p>
<p>"Um, what? Come again?" Bernadetta laughs uneasily, fidgeting in her seat as she searches Edelgard's face for something indicating she was joking. Finding nothing she questions her again. "You think you and your baby should...?"</p>
<p>"It's simple. Allowing the Hresvelg line to continue despite the dissolution of the empire will open up a potential route of rebellion within this new Fódlan sometime in the near or distant future. The most practical course of action would be to execute me before I give birth. That's what I would do were I in Claude's shoes." Honestly, she somewhat hopes that outcome comes to pass. As similar as many of Claude's ideals are to her own, she doubts he'll completely dismantle the system of nobility and the Church's rule of govern. Her only comfort is the knowledge of her impending death.</p>
<p>The situation is nothing short of ironic. Throughout the years she had been constantly dreading an impromptu death, faced by the fear that her life being so finite would leave her ambitions unfulfilled. Now she accepts that fate with open arms. Her efforts have amounted to nothing, giving way to those of her adversaries in their place. Yes, death is a much more pleasant alternative to living in a world built upon her failures, for both Edelgard and her child.</p>
<p>"That's... That's just a-awful." Teary eyed, Bernadetta drops her knitting needles. She wipes at her face. "Lady Edelgard, how can you even say that?"</p>
<p>Unready for Bernadetta's sudden onslaught of tears, Edelgard panics. With a trickle of sweat on her brow and a nervous chuckle, she tries to lift Bernadetta's spirits. "Calm down, Bernadetta. I was only making a point. Really, there's no need to cry. I'm still alive, aren't I?"</p>
<p>Wrong choice of words.</p>
<p>Her words of reassurance do little to quell Bernadetta's solemness; on the contrary, Edelgard's words cause similar feelings to stir within herself, albeit for very different reasons. She thinks, once again, of her failures and the countless lives lost as a result thereof. She thinks of those who placed their trust in her and gave their all to her cause. She thinks of Jeritza, of Ladislava, of Randolph, and of Fleche. She thinks of Hubert.</p>
<p>Behind her eyes Edelgard feels the pinprick of tears. She pinches the bridge of her nose so that she might somehow hold them back, and as her eyes grow wetter and redder, Edelgard cannot help but loose a choked sob. Internally she curses Bernadetta, convinced that the girl's own crying fit has stoked her own. She cannot stop the tears. They flow freely even with her eyes shut. "I'm still alive," she chokes out.</p>
<p>Caught in the midst of her woes and her trying to dispel them, Edelgard doesn't take notice of Bernadetta coming her way. She hears her bed creak and feels it shift as some additional weight is placed upon it, but before she can think to look up, Bernadetta's arms have already ensnared her.</p>
<p>"I'll say it as many times as I need to. I am so glad you're alive. Everyone in our house is! So please don't speak lightly of you dying. We all want you here!"</p>
<p>Miraculously, Bernadetta knows the exact words Edelgard does not wish to hear. She tries and fails to pry the other woman off of her, and soon enough, she gives in to the embrace.</p>
<p>What a mess she's become.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. An Extra</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth is all thumbs today.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This isn't Chapter 4.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Edelgard first lays eyes on her, she feels as though she's looking at a doll. The simple and elegant beauty she possesses paired with her big doe eyes presents an ethereal quality about her. She walks beside a bear of a man Edelgard presumes to be the mercenary captain, looking so very small and so out of place in his company. The royal diverts her attention back to Claude and Dimitri as they approach.</p><p>They explain their situation to the mercenary captain and scant few more words are said before one of his men arrives to deliver the news of an impending attack by their pursuers. The captain turns back to prepare himself and his men for battle, but not before first giving the young woman beside him instructions to head out and preempt the bandits' attack. She simply nods and makes off to do just that, the three students following along to provide assistance.</p><p>The walk outside the encampment is a short one, but Claude and Dimitri waste no time chatting up the doll-like mercenary. She says nothing in the face of Dimitri's gratitude and Claude's flirtations, just nodding or staring at them in response. They spot the enemy not long after passing a treeline and the doll draws her sword.</p><p>She looks all too strange with a weapon in her hands, but at the same time the sight stokes something inside Edelgard, making her finally speak to the doll.</p><p>"You have a strange aura about you... You say you're a mercenary, so show me what you can do."</p><p>She turns to Edelgard and regards her with her big doe eyes. They sparkle yet hold not the least bit of emotion within their confines. "Very well." She arcs her sword arm back as if to throw her blade, and the action serves to mystify all three nobles.</p><p>"She can't possibly mean to..." Dimitri voices his confusion.</p><p>In one swift motion her arm swings forward and the iron sword bolts through the air and buries itself squarely in the face of a charging bandit. Those nearest to him stop in their tracks, shaken by the impromptu death.</p><p>"Take cover among the trees. Take out anyone who makes it past me," the mercenary commands them before sprinting ahead to meet the mob of panic-stricken bandits. She approaches them barehanded at a breakneck pace. She leaps into the air, the heel of her boot planting itself firmly in the face of a bandit she uses as a springboard to launch herself closer to her weapon. Feet on the ground and surrounded by a myriad of furious bandits, she wrenches her sword out the face of her victim and quickly sets about breaking the lot of them.</p><p>Neck. Neck. Hand. Eyes. Neck. The mercenary's sword flashes within the throng of bandits. Each swing of its blade rends flesh. Each strike leaves another enemy dead or incapacitated. She falls back into the chest of a bandit charging from behind, the axe meant for her head burying itself into that of another. She grabs the handle of the weapon and simultaneously breaks its owner's thumb, freeing it for her own use. Slick with blood and fat, she discards her sword into the gut of the man behind her. The axe will suffice until it too becomes unusable.</p><p>"Holy shit. She's fucking amazing." Claude says what they all are thinking, albeit with less refined manner of speech.</p><p>And Dimitri expands on those words. "Utterly overwhelming to say the least. Uncouth bandits or no, it's positively suicidal to fight surrounded by so many of them, yet she does so and so effectively. Anyone else would have been struck by now. How does she manage?"</p><p>"Reduce enemy numbers as quickly as possible through any means necessary. One strike means one kill or as close to it as possible." The mercenary captain's booming voice makes itself known before he himself does. He appears at the edge of the treeline the three students conceal themselves within, mounted on an armor plated steed and followed closely by a handful more mercenaries.</p><p>"Simple enough in theory but implausible when put into action," Claude says. "Your mercenary, does she wield a crest?"</p><p>"My child," the captain clarifies gruffly. "And couldn't tell ya. Doesn't matter anyhow." His demeanor turns noticeably sour, and all three students take notice of this. The topic of crests does not seem to be one this man wants to broach. Dimitri respectfully keeps this in mind and decides to not delve any further; it piques Claude's interest, and he fully intends on bringing it up again should he ever get the chance; Edelgard sees potential for new allies. A group of unaffiliated mercenaries led by a man with a distaste for crests in close proximity to the monastery? Perfect.</p><p>"They're starting to back off her and stray this way. Most of my men are holding a perimeter around the village, so you three come with us to help put a bow on this engagement." The captain rides off in much the same way his daughter had ran off, without a chance for any of them to even offer a response. Not that one would be needed.</p><p>"Right-O. Let's show 'em our appreciation. No need for us to run away any longer."</p><p>"Yes, let us do just that. I felt conflicted just standing by and allowing a lady to do all the fighting."</p><p>"You two are certainly gung-ho. That over-eagerness just may end up costing your lives if you aren't careful." And Edelgard sure does hope for that to be the case.</p><p>The bandits scrambling away from the captain's daughter run head first into her reinforcements - right into the head of Dimitri's spear, the edge of Edelgard's axe, and a barrage of Claude's arrows. It dawns on them all as a collective that they've failed in their objective as more and more bodies build on their side. Finally a shout of "Retreat!" is heard and the bandits begin to turn tail. Those capable of running away do. The far less fortunate, those dead or dying, lay strewn across the ground in a path of blood and carnage that leads directly to the doll-like mercenary.</p><p>As Edelgard approaches her, she discards her axe, it having chipped in an overzealous attack of her own. Looking over the fallen bandits she adopts an expression of antipathy, and in her head frustration and vile curses run amok. "Failures," she mumbles. She says it so quietly that she can barely hear it herself, so she is more than shocked when the woman she had been walking toward whips around to face her.</p><p>Had she heard her? How? Even if she had not, the way she lunges forward with her face spattered in blood and her pupils dilated is alarming. Instinctively, Edelgard reaches for the dagger hidden on her person, but she is in for yet another shock when the mercenary's hand claims the weapon before she can herself.</p><p>Then she hears it. A distinctive battle-cry no doubt belonging to the fool of a man she had conscripted to slay her fellow house leaders. Her eyes barely register the axe raised high and swinging down right on track to her head before she is yanked forward, face halfway nestled in what she can't help but notice is a rather soft and pillowy bosom. From the corner of her eye not blinded by breasts she can see it, the moment her dagger cuts through Kostas's thumb. With the opposable digit gone the axe follows the momentum of his swing and sails right over Edelgard's head.</p><p>Kostas falls back with a yowl of pain, and the mercenary attempts to follow up on her attack but finds her movements slowed by the girl clung awkwardly to her chest. It gives the bandit leader time enough to scurry away from them and be snatched away by his goons. A minor sigh of annoyance escapes her.</p><p>It takes a moment before it all registers to Edelgard exactly what had just transpired. She had come so close to losing her life, having her plans for revolution demolished before they could even be enacted. In hindsight, she knows she should have listened to Hubert and entrusted the task of dispatching of Claude and Dimitri to someone more capable, despite the risk of it being linked back to her, rather than some backwoods simpleton who failed to comprehend the significance of only killing the two male nobles as she had explicitly told him. It was only thanks to the quick action of the female mercenary that she survived her blunder. Although, now that she thinks about it, how had the doll reacted so quickly? She had been well on her way to Edelgard's aid before Kostas's charge could even be detected. And for that matter, how had she known about the dagger? It was well concealed for good reason. But, most importantly, why on earth does she smell so good?</p><p>Edelgard pries herself off her savior with a face burnt as crimson as the cape draped from her shoulder. She can already hear it, Claude's snickering. "I-I, uh, thank you." Her voice is weak, barely a peep. If the woman hadn't heard what she said earlier she most certainly didn't hear her now, so she repeats herself. "Thank you."</p><p>The mercenary makes some vague noise of acknowledgement as she wipes her face clean with a cloth pulled from her coat. With that same cloth she too cleans Edelgard's dagger before flipping it into the air and catching it by its blade. She offers the weapon back to its owner and says, "Have I shown you enough?" Her voice is low and monotone and yet... Sultry somehow?</p><p>The same burning sensation which had only just left her returns in force. <i>'No, not nearly enough.'</i> Edelgard retakes her keepsake but keeps that embarrassing thought to herself.</p><p>Once more, Edelgard looks over the woman standing before her. Still that same feeling that she is not really there despite being physically present emanates from her. Her 'strange aura', as Edelgard dubbed it, relentlessly draws the young royal in. "Yes. I see now that I wasn't mistaken. You are quite skilled." She wants her. "I'd like to know your name."</p><p>The mercenary takes her time in responding to Edelgard, allowing her attention to drift elsewhere as she spots Dimitri and Claude coming to join them and some strangely armored knights speaking with her father. She closes her eyes, nods her head, and then she finally says, "Byleth. My name is Byleth Reus Eisner."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dorothea is a nosy bitch. Edelgard exhibits more teenage angst despite being an adult.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is Chapter 4.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the past week, opportunities for Edelgard to meet with Byleth had been scarce. Upon returning from their assignment involving Lord Gaspard, the two of them had sat down for tea, but the interaction was short-lived and its mood dampened by their words exchanged earlier in the day. While they had spoken in and out of the classroom since, those conversations always pertained to something related to her studies or had the unfavorable inclusion of another person to restrict Edelgard's choice of words, preventing her attempts of dissuading her teacher from delving any further into other possible targets of their aggressors outside the supposed attempt on Rhea's life. All other attempts to pull the woman aside had been mired with interruptions from her fellow students, Byleth having to attend to one matter or another, or her having reduced evening availability. Today is no different.</p><p>She had only just returned from a meeting with her uncle on the outskirts of town when she spotted Byleth leaving the marketplace, alone, heading into the reception hall immediately beyond it. Hubert, beside her at the time, followed her line of sight and grimaced when he saw the back of their teacher. He voiced their need to meet with Jeritza, to ensure he acted according to plan, but she brushed him off. She told him to head to the meeting place first and that she would only be a few short minutes. Although begrudgingly, he did as he was told. She hurried into the reception hall after Byleth, and just as she began to call out to her, Claude swept in.</p><p>Watching Claude speak with Byleth unsettles Edelgard a great deal more than she would care to admit. From a distance she observes the way he casually drapes an arm around her shoulders and leaves not even a hair's breadth between their faces. She strains her hearing to make out the tiniest bits of their conversation, catching only those in which he regards her far too familiarly. It irks her, each and every one of Claude's actions, but nothing more so than Byleth's failure to reproach him for any of it. She has half a mind to head over and split them apart herself, but she doesn't. She knows just enough about Claude to know how he'll entangle her in a conversation that will waste the precious few minutes she has to speak with her teacher and leave her more disgruntled than she already is. So she stands there fuming, waiting for them to part ways.</p><p>It is an audible sucking of teeth that tears Edelgard's attention away from them. Coming right toward her is one of her house members, Dorothea. The tall brunette shakes her head with a long drawn out sigh. "Haven't I warned you about all that scowling, Edie?"</p><p>"Dorothea. Hello. I was just lost in thought. Again." Her words are curt and she distracted. Her eyes fall right back into place on her teacher and rival house leader. "I'm afraid that's become much too common an occurrence these days."</p><p>"Lost in thought?" Dorothea says, a bit of a chuckle under her breath. "Hmhm. Looks to me like you're fuming with jealousy."</p><p>"I beg your pardon?" Edelgard says with some edge to her voice, but she reposes herself, not wanting to take that tone with someone she is beginning to consider a friend. She asks more humbly, "Of whom am I meant to be jealous, Dorothea?"</p><p>"Oh, Edie... You're so cute when you're flustered," Dorothea all but coos at the royal. "It's as plain as day that you're smitten with the professor. What with the way you always try to monopolize her time and how you're always looking at her so longingly in class, in the dining hall, and even just now."</p><p>"And I have to say I really can't blame you. At first glance, she is a bit plain looking, but it's that simple beauty of hers that really sets her apart from the rest. Not to mention she has quite the figure and set of... <i>Ample assets</i>."</p><p>"Dorothea!"</p><p>"And not just her bust. It's hard to tell with those coats she always wears but, I must say, she has quite the <i>derrière</i>."</p><p>"Dorothea! Please!" She knows. Edelgard has watched Byleth close enough to understand just how absolutely stacked she is. Thinking about that now will do her no good. "That's quite enough."</p><p>"Right, right. My apologies, your highness," Dorothea says through an abundance of giggles. "But to answer your question, the current object of your resentment is undoubtedly Claude."</p><p>As if on cue, the wily noble looks over in their direction and winks. His teeth gleam white as he laughs and resumes his chatter. Byleth doesn't even look their way, her eyes ever vacantly staring ahead. Dorothea waves back. Edelgard does not.</p><p>"Wrinkles," Dorothea sings.</p><p>Although it takes some doing, Edelgard regains her composure. She inhales. She exhales. "I admit I may have some interest in Professor Eisner." Her admission is terse, her words unevenly spaced. "However, that's neither here nor there. It's simply that it is beyond inappropriate for Claude to invade her personal space the way he is."</p><p>"Mhm."</p><p>"It's no way to treat a woman, let alone his teacher."</p><p>"Right."</p><p>"And..."</p><p>Dorothea waits patiently for Edelgard to finish her thought, the intrigue in her expression never waning.</p><p>"Am I truly that easy to see through?"</p><p>"So damn easy. Your pining for Teach wouldn't be any more obvious were it tattooed across that big forehead of yours." The answer to Edelgard's question comes not from Dorothea but from Claude. He strides over coolly with a hand on his hip and a coy smile on his face. He bows before the two Black Eagle students, swinging his arm in an over-exaggerated half circle and pulling back his foot in a mock noblesque salutation. "Afternoon, ladies."</p><p>For some reason unknown to Edelgard, Dorothea finds Claude's antics chuckle-worthy. "Good afternoon, Claude," she says. "You looked like you were having a fine chat with our lovely professor."</p><p>At mention of their professor, Edelgard peeks around Claude to see if she still might be around. She is not. She moves to follow behind her, wherever she could have gone, but Claude steps in her way.</p><p>"I was. Shame you couldn't have joined us, Edelgard. You were over here for quite some time after all. Entire duration of our discussion, I think? Might have intrigued you."</p><p>Claude's words are bait and she knows it, but Edelgard bites regardless. She rolls her eyes at him. "And what might this discussion have pertained to?"</p><p>"Should be obvious. During your class's assignment last month, you discovered a note on Lord Gaspard's corpse that detailed a plot to assassinate the archbishop. Only that may not be the case." Claude pauses in his explanation to allow for Edelgard to say something, to ask him what he is getting at. She does not, and the daggers she glares tells him she will not and that he better get to the point. He shrugs. "I spoke with Teach and volunteered my class's assistance with digging up clues on what may actually be our enemies' objective. In exchange, she'll speak with the archbishop and our professor so that a few Golden Deer students will be allowed to tag along for some of your future class assignments. Namely me."</p><p>"Absolutely not!" The words shoot out of Edelgard's mouth before Claude can even finish talking. "You have your instructor and we have ours. Or are you suggesting that Professor Casagranda isn't an adequate enough teacher for you?"</p><p>"Oh no. Manuela is great when she's not working off a hangover for half the class." Claude looks to Dorothea for reassurance. "You get what I'm saying, right, Dorothea?"</p><p>"Unfortunately..."</p><p>"When we've not been given an assignment that takes us away from the monastery, us other houses only get to see Teach two days out of the week compared to your minimum four. It's hardly fair."</p><p>"If little inconveniences like that are what you deem unfair, Claude, I'd hate to see how you take things during wartime. I can show you unfair." Claude's face twists at the mention of war, as if he had been forced to swallow something bitter. Edelgard finds this look much more appealing on him. "I suggest you cease your griping and accept your lot."</p><p>Claude shakes his head and throws his hands up into the air. "No can do, princess. You know as well as I do that there's something special about Professor Eisner aside from her ample assets." He shares a wink Dorothea. "It would be foolish of me to just give up and let you steal her away to Adrestia. There's no chance it's happening."</p><p>"You don't have to let me do anything, Claude. She'll be joining me--not you--regardless of whatever course of action you take."</p><p>"HA! That so?" Claude looks wholly unconvinced, more amused than anything, and having antagonized Edelgard more than enough for one afternoon, he turns to leave. "I'm looking forward to this little power struggle. Let's do our best to work together for now. Bye, ladies."</p><p>Edelgard's composure lasts until the very moment Claude walks out of sight, still bellowing with laughter. "Ooh... That boy! He...!" She stomps the ground and swings her fists down like a child in the midst of a tantrum. Just as she thought, he'd wasted any time she had to spare.</p><p>"Deep breaths," Dorothea reminds her. She does as she is told, taking several more than she needed to earlier but coming back around to that same sense of calm.</p><p>"Thank you, Dorothea. I apologize for showing you something so unbecoming of me."</p><p>"It's no problem." A rather large smile comes to Dorothea's face as she shakes her head. "I quite like seeing you lose your composure. It's refreshing. Shows that we commoners and nobles have similar dispositions. And your angry face is just too precious to boot."</p><p>"Ah, well," Edelgard awkwardly coughs into her hand, hiding away her reaction to Dorothea's flattery. "I'm glad that you were able to see that we aren't so different."</p><p>"Mhm. In any case, it seems Claude's interest in the professor only extends so far. He seems interested in her as a person, but it doesn't seem his motivations are romantically inclined. You've got a leg up there."</p><p>She normally is not one to seek the affirmation of others, but with Dorothea so boldly declaring her advantage, Edelgard cannot help but ask, somewhat abashedly, "Do you really think so?"</p><p>"Yes, of course!" Dorothea exclaims. "The heart wants what the heart wants after all. Make her fall for you and she'll be yours for the taking."</p><p><i>'Steal her heart. Make it so that she will undoubtedly take my side when the decisive moment arrives.'</i> This is the very thought which spurred Edelgard on to pursue her teacher in the first place, and Dorothea's words are so in line with it that she feels it to be, in some way, a sign of providence.</p><p>"Dorothea, might I ask for your assistance in making such a silly endeavor a reality? I am inexperienced when it comes to matters of the heart. All I know is what I've read in books and heard about my mother and father. You are more worldly than I, so it would be a great help if you would lend me your ear from time to time."</p><p>"Edie!" Dorothea all but shrieks. In that moment, she forgets herself and the distance between their stations and launches toward her diminutive house leader. She hugs her as tightly as possible even amidst the stares of passersby and Edelgard's cries to be let go. "Yes! A thousand times yes! I'll proudly become your love guru! Oh, I can see it now, you and the professor hand in hand and..."</p><p>
  <i>'Maybe I shouldn't have asked her after all...'</i>
</p><p>"It'll be an opera for the ages!"</p>
<hr/><p>Edelgard closes her eyes in pure bliss as Dorothea's long, skillful fingers massage her scalp and work their way through the tresses of her hair. She leans back into her touch, allowing her friend and caretaker to more thoroughly clean her. Initially, she had been adverse to having Dorothea join her in the bath. Putting her body on display, showcasing the cross-like scars both running along her spine and through her navel, now made more pronounced due to the deformity in her figure--it is no easy task. Although her eyes did and still do linger on them, Dorothea has fortunately not once questioned her about the origin of her scars.</p><p>"So, Edie," Dorothea says, cutting short a tune she'd been humming. "Are you ready to tell me yet? I have a pretty good hunch of who it is, but I'm still only guessing until you confirm it." Dorothea has not asked about Edelgard's scars. Not once. She has, however, incessantly inquired about the identity of the unborn child's father.</p><p>Edelgard sighs, the expulsion of air transforming into an awkward chuckle midway through. "You really have no intention of letting that go, do you? Do tell me about this hunch of yours."</p><p>"Well, having known you over the years I know you're not the type of woman to open up to just anyone. It has to be someone you put a great deal of trust in. Someone strong, dependable, and extremely capable. Someone who's loved you for a long, long time." The inflection in Dorothea's voice says her answer should be obvious. She allows the silence to linger as she rinses Edelgard's hair, humming again, loudly, in a way that practically screams 'give up a name already!'</p><p>Although she tries to fight it, a smirk plays at the edge of Edelgard's mouth. She decides to play along, knowing full well the correct answer to be nowhere in sight. "And whom might that be?"</p><p>"It's Hubert. Without a doubt," Dorothea answers giddily.</p><p>Hubert. That name fills Edelgard with melancholy like nothing else, and she wonders how she hadn't seen it coming and why she hadn't stopped Dorothea before they reached this point. She shifts uncomfortably upon her small wooden stool as memories of her most trusted confidant begin to stir. Memories of how they spent their last moments together. She bites them back with no little effort, a guttural noise escaping her in doing so.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Dorothea says hurriedly, although much too late. Her hands draw back from Edelgard, clasped together. Her voice shakes. "I don't know what I was thinking bringing this up. I've just been so happy to see you again and spend time with you that my brain completely glossed over the fact that we were just in a war."</p><p>A sniffle reaches Edelgard's ears, a hiccup, and her head jerks up in reaction. She begins to turn around to face Dorothea, but she stops herself short. She shuts her eyes tightly, and she balls her hand up into a fist and proceeds to slowly regulate her breathing. <i>'You've done enough of that,'</i> she tells herself.</p><p>Edelgard opens her eyes slowly. Her fist loosens. She chances a look back over her shoulder, and as expected, she sees the image of yet another sobbing woman. Her head dips lower, the roundness of her scar stricken belly entering her field of view, her hands sat limp atop her lap. Along either side of her run Dorothea's long legs; her hand wavers to the side and runs along the length of her friend's calf. Somewhat solemnly she says, "It's fine, Dorothea. Even I've found myself making that mistake once or twice over the past few weeks." She persists in her ministrations until she can no longer tell if the other woman is crying and well past then.</p><p>"Tell me, were you there for his last moments? Hubert's. How was it? What were his last words?" These are questions, Edelgard knows, that are best left unanswered, but she can't help but ask them.</p><p>When Dorothea speaks again her voice is strained. "I wasn't there," she says. "The majority of our class attended to escorting civilians out of harm's way and making sure the subjugation of the capital went about as peacefully as possible. We may have been opposed to what you were doing but Enbarr's still home, y'know? Fighting there just wasn't possible for us. Fighting against our friends..." She trails off and it sounds like she's preparing to cry again. Edelgard squeezes her leg in a way she hopes shows her support, and maybe it does, because it keeps Dorothea calm and she continues.</p><p>"So the professor said she would take care of you all personally. You, Jeritza, and Hubert."</p><p>Edelgard laughs. She laughs a bitter, choking laugh, and she grips Dorothea's leg a little too hard she thinks, but she has to grab something because it hurts. He had warned her so many times. He warned her that getting too close to a potential enemy could influence her decisions. He tried to anyway. She never listened. And when it came time to make the decision she should have, she did not, and it cost her everything. It cost Hubert his life.</p><p>It hurts to think about, Hubert facing Byleth. He was by no means ineffectual in combat, but when compared to Byleth, he was but a man before the demon she had come to be known as. Bar Jeritza, anyone unfortunate enough to cross her path on the battlefield would not live to tell the tale or not have long to live after, and even he eventually succumbed. Hubert had been so lucky to have never encountered her in prior battles, but it seems that luck had run its course. She killed him.</p><p>Hubert who cared for her so much more than was necessary for a vassal. Hubert whose love for her she had known yet never acknowledged. Hubert who most likely died with his final thoughts not being of his own plight but of hers. She killed him.</p><p>"Where has the professor been?" Edelgard redirects the conversation even as pressure builds behind her eyes. She grunts and her head bumps involuntarily as she fights to contain it. "My first day awake here she said she would 'be around', but I've not seen her since."</p><p>From behind her, Edelgard can sense a reluctance to speak from Dorothea. She hears her sighing and swallowing her spit to slake a dried throat. She is reluctant, but she speaks regardless. "She's been with Lady Rhea mostly. Tending to her, helping her recover. She left the monastery a few days back to help finish the campaign in the Faerghus Dukedom. She should be back by now, but she probably went right back to taking care of Lady Rhea. Next time I see her I'll ask her to drop by. Okay?"</p><p>Dorothea's fears were well placed, because when Edelgard speaks, her words are nearly spat out with the amount of venom and contempt held within them.</p><p>"No, it's fine. Let her remain at the archbishop's side. She's always preferred being there than by mine anyway." Hearing Rhea's name alone further worsens her mood, but to also know of her being doted on by Byleth, it hurts. The hurt caused by Byleth compounded with that of Hubert's death... <i>'Also caused by Byleth...'</i> She chews on the inside of her cheek. She takes deep breaths. She does whatever she needs to do to calm herself down.</p><p>There is a flutter of something within her belly, and it makes her gasp. It damages her resolve to not break. Edelgard clutches herself as it continues on in waves, causing her feelings of discomfort and nausea. She hates it. She hates what she has been burdened with, and she hates how it only makes her think more of Byleth.</p><p>Byleth has taken so much from her. If she had never reappeared, all would be as it should be. If she had never met her better yet. Edelgard would be emperor. Her friends would not have betrayed her. Hubert would be alive. She would have changed Fódlan for the better. She would not be where she is now, in the condition she is now. But here she is, with nothing. Not even Byleth.</p><p>Why hasn't she come?</p><p>Why didn't she kill her too?</p><p>"I don't want her here." Edelgard's words contradict her feelings, but she speaks them regardless. "I don't need her. I don't need her here, so just tell her to stay away." It's the baby, she knows--hormones, she thinks--why her emotions are a mess right now. She's confused, and it's getting harder to think and to contain herself, but she can and she will.</p><p>"I want to die," Edelgard almost says.</p><p>"Please kill me," Edelgard almost begs.</p><p>"I'm going to die soon anyway."</p><p>"Edie..."</p><p>Neither of them are crying, but the mood in the washroom is so wrought with misery that tears can fall at any moment given the right incentive. In the end, Dorothea somehow navigates away from this outcome. She kneels beside Edelgard with a far away look in her eyes. She rubs slow, gentle circles into the other woman's back.</p><p>"Perhaps the professor's not as enthused about you being pregnant given your past relationship. If I found out the person I loved was having a child for someone else, I can't say how I would take it either."</p><p>These are not words meant to comfort but more a rationalization. Why it does, Edelgard has no idea, but it calms her down like nothing else so far. "Yeah. If you put it that way, it makes sense." She's still nauseated and the fluttering won't stop, but it's becoming easier to think again.</p><p>"I'm sure she'll be around soon enough."</p><p>"She doesn't need to... Yeah."</p><p>"In the meantime, the rest of our class is also back. We're all going to be together again tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful, Edie?" Dorothea's voice is still strained and her eyes still red, but she smiles. Edelgard cannot muster the energy to do the same.</p><p>"Yeah. I can't wait."</p><p>The rest of their time spent in the washroom goes by in complete silence. At this point, it is needed.</p><p>The walk back to Edelgard's room is as uneventful as the remainder of her bath. Dorothea holds her close, her hand still idly rubbing Edelgard's back as she guides her through the threshold of her door.</p><p>There sitting in the middle of the candlelit room is Claude, his arms draped over the back of a chair and a book held loosely in his hands. He closes the book and stashes it in a satchel at his feet. He regards them both with a coy smile.</p><p>"Evening, ladies."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Everything reads better if you read it in Jeralt's voice: "Edelgard has watched Byleth close enough to understand just how absolutely stacked she is." "The class did their best to focus on Byleth's lesson, but she was dummy thicc, and the clap of her ass cheeks prevented them from hearing a single word she said."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Best Boy Claude verbally harasses hoebag Edelgard.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The atmosphere within Byleth's room is a languid one. She sits on her bed, one leg dangling over the edge as she sips from a bowl, emptying it. She grabs the bottle of wine on her night table and refills said bowl for a third time. Across from her, Edelgard is seated at her desk. With a cup of tea in hand, she observes her teacher as she partakes in drink.</p><p>The way she sits and how she imbibes her alcohol, while not totally unrefined, are a far cry from the more prim and proper decorum she exhibits while within the dining hall or when having tea. With her head thrown back, she empties another bowl.</p><p>"You're quite the drinker, professor." Edelgard knows there are more important matters at hand to discuss, the relic sword leaning against the wall behind her teacher like some casual prop the most prominent of them all, but she stumbles over just how to broach the topic. It is unusual for her to hesitate like this. Being one so short on time, it does not benefit her to dawdle, to incessantly worry about how her approach may offend or put off those she speaks to, but that's exactly what she's doing now.</p><p>Byleth grunts. "It's just something else I've inherited from my father."</p><p>"Right. Growing up in a band of mercenaries, I suppose it's only natural for you. I mean no offense."</p><p>"None taken," Byleth responds noncommittally as she refills her bowl. She freezes as she brings it back up to her lips, looking her student's way. She holds out the bowl to Edelgard. "Do you want to try some?"</p><p>"No, that's quite alright," Edelgard declines with her hands coming up defensively. "I'm not sure I'll take to it as well as you do, and I prefer to have total presence of mind."</p><p>"Suit yourself." Byleth shrugs and resumes drinking. She brushes some hair away from the corner of her mouth as some had gotten stuck there while she drank. A small tinge of red mars her cheeks. Even if only a little, she's become intoxicated. In this state, maybe she'll let something she shouldn't slip? Something concerning her newly discovered crest or the sword behind her.</p><p>"Your fight with that peculiar knight was quite the spectacle."</p><p>"Was it? He was strong." Byleth freezes in movement, eyes locked ahead of her as she most likely recounts her harrowing battle with the Death Knight. "I should have killed him."</p><p>"Straight to violence then? No attempt at discourse?" Edelgard jests, a callback to their minor squabble from weeks prior.</p><p>"No. Not this time," Byleth answers all too seriously. "There are times when violence is the only means to an end. Talking won't work with that one. He'll become a nuisance, so I should have killed him."</p><p>Edelgard's brow raises and a small puff of air escapes her nose. It's a little funny, she thinks, that a woman who speaks so casually of murder shakes like a leaf when given a peck on the lips. "Perhaps, but it was more pertinent that you stop the mage." She pauses for a beat, taking that time to naturally let her eyes wander past her teacher to the sword behind her. She gestures to it. "You seem to have taken to the sword quite well might I add."</p><p>"Just a sword like any other. Mostly. I've had some trouble using it when it's not. When it's more like a whip. But Sothis, she--" Byleth stops talking abruptly, jolting on her bed and wincing in pain as she clutches the side of her head, lightly shaking it as she mouths "Sorry" over and over again.</p><p>"Sothis?" The goddess? As Edelgard had hoped, her teacher indeed did let something slip. What it could mean, though, she has no clue. Most likely just a slip of the tongue. It's a start.</p><p>"Nothing. I've had too much to drink." Still holding her head, Byleth sets her bowl down on the table beside her bed. Edelgard spies the dish still with a gulp of wine within it, and something within her stirs.</p><p>"On second thought, I think I will try some." Edelgard sets down her cup of tea and all but skips across the room. She grabs the bowl of wine and motions for Byleth to make room for her on top the bed; which she does, scooting across its surface so that her back now rests against the wall, one leg straightened and the other bent up at the knee. With what might be considered mild amusement, she watches as the girl hesitantly finishes off her drink.</p><p>It's sweet. Very sweet. Edelgard perks up as soon as the wine hits her tongue. She mimics Byleth's earlier actions by tilting the bowl back completely until all its contents have emptied into her mouth. She licks her lips to capture more of its delightful taste. "It's delicious. You've good taste, my teacher," she says, beaming at Byleth.</p><p>"It is good, but I'm not the one who chose it," Byleth says. "Rhea gave it to me."</p><p>The smile all but vanishes from Edelgard's face. "The archbishop?"</p><p>"Mm. She called me to her quarters to talk and we shared a glass." Byleth says this as if it's the most ordinary thing in the world, a religious figure inviting a young person back to their lodgings and inundating them with a substance meant to numb the senses.</p><p>It strikes Edelgard as odd, but she thinks it better to not dwell on it. What's important is what came of that visit. "I imagine you discussed your crest. Did you talk about the Sword of the Creator? Did she mention why it has no crest stone yet still allows you access to its power?"</p><p>"We spoke about it some, but I didn't learn anything I didn't already know. Mostly we just talked about trivial things. It was nice. She was nice." Byleth's face is as impassive as ever, but there is a fondness in her voice, a softness in her eyes that creates a lump of something hard and dark in the pit of Edelgard's stomach. She cannot ignore it after all.</p><p>Her getting closer to Claude had been one thing. Although a noble of the Leicester Alliance, the boy is a buffoon--an especially crafty one but a buffoon nonetheless. Rhea, on the other hand, is anything but. Should she manage to get her claws deep enough into Byleth, there won't be much Edelgard can do to retract them. It is the thought of that which urges her to try to instill some doubt, a mental bulwark of sorts against Rhea into her teacher's mind.</p><p>"You've become close with the archbishop. Before you told me about her assisting you in learning magics and blade arts, a luxury reserved solely for you. Now this. Doesn't it strike you as odd how someone of her station invests so much time into someone she barely knows?"</p><p>Byleth looks contemplative, and it leads Edelgard to believe she has been successful in planting her seed of doubt. Alas, that is not the case.</p><p>"Wouldn't our relationship be just as odd?"</p><p>The question leaves Edelgard dumbstruck. The irony had not been lost on her, calling out Rhea for doing virtually the same thing as she is now, but she had not foreseen Byleth bringing attention to it, addled by alcohol as she is.</p><p>"My role back in Adrestia has little influence here. I am a student first and foremost, so it isn't the same by any means. Rhea, however, holds vast amounts of power within her hands wherever she may go. Her authority is unmistakable. It would be unwise of you to forget that lest you find yourself caught in her machinations."</p><p>Byleth stares at her for some time, unblinking, before she eventually says, "And I don't have to worry about that with you?"</p><p>"Pardon?" Again, Byleth blindsides her.</p><p>"I won't find myself caught with you, right, Edelgard?"</p><p>"N-No. I have plans for the future, and I would dearly like your help when it comes time to enact them, but I have no intention to mislead or misuse you." Although vaguely phrased, Edelgard does speak the truth. She dares not lie to her teacher who so far has demonstrated a disturbingly high proficiency for nitpicking little details.</p><p>Byleth appears satisfied with this answer. She nods her head. "The prime minister and the nobles. They're the ones you'll need to deal with, right? I'll help you however I can."</p><p>"Even if that means leaving the monastery? Rhea may not take kindly to you abandoning her." She only just got herself out of hot water but here she is diving right back in. Edelgard reasons it must be the wine at work. She is only too relieved when Byleth doesn't go in on her again.</p><p>"I enjoy it here, but I am and always have been a mercenary. Rhea will understand."</p><p><i>'Oh?'</i> Edelgard thinks she sees a harmless opportunity. She jumps on it. "Does that mean you intend to keep up that profession even after helping me? Wouldn't you rather settle in one place, free of worries concerning when your next job will come?"</p><p>"It isn't as bad as you think it is, but it is nice having my own room. And somewhere to bathe. And so much food." Byleth shrugs. It looks like she may actually agree with Edelgard here. "I guess I can always return here to the monastery. Rhea did allow my father back."</p><p>Edelgard shakes her head. "What I meant to say was..." She takes Byleth's hand in her own in some strange sort of pseudo-proposal. "I want you to remain in the Empire with me once all is said and done. I want you by my side."</p><p>That same look of contemplation appears on Byleth's face. She doesn't understand how, but Edelgard screwed up. She can already tell what's coming. "You've only known me for a few months. I'm a mercenary. Why would you want me beside you?"</p><p>Edelgard can feel the onset of a frown, but she manages to stop it before it can surface. Just when things were heading in a good direction another obstacle is erected. Byleth proves hard to placate this evening, even going so far as to throw her own words back in her face more than once now. "Because I love you," she nearly says, but she knows that answer is far too simplistic and will only beget another "Why?" She wonders, <i>'What would Dorothea say about this situation? What would she do?'</i></p><p>
  <i>"Anyone can say 'I love you', y'know. It's all about how you show it, and I don't mean just through physical affection or gifts--although, those can be nice... What I'm saying is, you've gotta open up and be vulnerable with your partner if you want your love to be recognized as the genuine article!"</i>
</p><p>Edelgard breathes heavily as she kicks off her boots, the action garnering her a curious look from her teacher. She crawls onto and across the bed, right into Byleth's lap. She straddles her and runs both hands up her arms and over her shoulders. She laughs a little bit, thinking again just how comical it is that someone so battle-hardened like Byleth trembles under the touch of a small girl.</p><p>"Remember how I said you had a strange aura?" Edelgard lets go of her teacher's shoulders. She reaches into the pocket of her romper and pulls out a little black stone, in truth a magical device used to display a person's elemental affinity along with their crest should they possess one. She pours a little magical energy into the stone and the sigil of the Crest of Seiros appears, burning red. After a moment, it begins to flicker. Gone is the Crest of Seiros and in its place is the Crest of Flames, purple hued and pulsating.</p><p>"The Major Crest I was endowed with is the very same as your own. As much pain as it has brought me, I feel it is also what drew me to you. But that's all it did." Edelgard cuts off her flow of magical energy and pockets the stone, returning her hands to their positions on Byleth's shoulders. She looks her in the eyes, unfaltering. "I've watched you. Spoken with and spent time with you, and I find myself wanting more. These days that I've known you, though few in number, have been some of the happiest in all my life. Is it so wrong of me to want that happiness to go on for much, much longer?" None of what she said is a lie, but to say she would have been able to put her feelings into words without being put on the spot is far from the truth.</p><p>Byleth stares and stares with her mouth left slightly ajar, and for some time it seems she won't say anything at all. "I had no idea," she says, her voice wavering, "you felt so strongly. About me."</p><p>Edelgard's eyes brighten as she realizes that her efforts have paid off. Thanks are in order for Dorothea. "Byleth, every action I take I am committed to in my entirety. I haven't the time to squander on frivolous pursuits. I care for you." She closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss. "Truly."</p><p>"My body..." Byleth mumbles just as Edelgard's lips brush against hers.</p><p>Edelgard jerks back, holding her teacher at arm's length as she looks her over, afraid that she's somehow done something wrong. "Your body? What? What about it?"</p><p>"It isn't like others."</p><p><i>'Is that all?'</i> Edelgard thinks dismissively. "Neither is mine. I've told you already what was done to me. I've scars. It matters little to me how your body may be different to others. I'll still..." Again, Edelgard tries to plant a kiss on Byleth.</p><p>"For the majority of my life..." Again, Byleth interrupts Edelgard, causing the girl to recoil with a huff, but she continues on unfazed. "I remember being referred to as a boy. It was around nine years ago when that began to change, when my body began to change."</p><p><i>'Oh, goddess...'</i> Edelgard knew that her teacher had a very strange upbringing in comparison to most and possessed a limited knowledge of the world outside of what was needed to survive as a sellsword, but she had not thought Jeralt to be the type of a man to shirk the duties of teaching his daughter the basics of human growth and anatomy. "Byleth, that's called puberty. Everyone undergoes changes then. I'm sure you were quite the tomboy, but you aren't the only woman who's been confused for a boy in her adolescence."</p><p>It is faint and gone just as quickly as it comes, but Edelgard sees a smile, hears an expulsion of air. <i>'Did she just laugh?'</i> And it leaves her confused because she had never seen her do that before. And it leaves her all the more beguiled because she had never seen her do that before.</p><p>"My father used to call me his son," Byleth says. "He stopped doing that after the last time we bathed together."</p><p>Edelgard reclines, now actually putting forth the effort to listen to her teacher. "What are you saying?"</p><p>Byleth raises a hand, tracing the outline of her body on its way up. She presents her palm to Edelgard before then lowering it. "My body is like a woman's." She sits it between them, on her pelvis. "Everywhere except here. Here I am like a man."</p><p>"I didn't tell you before now because she said--" Byleth shakes her head. "I thought this was a game for you. And because it's annoying to explain. It's okay if you don't feel the same anymore. My body is strange."</p><p>Edelgard's eyes linger on Byleth's hand, and when she moves it, on her pelvis. It's hard to comprehend, so she takes her time piecing together again what she was already told. It occurs to her after quite a while that Byleth hasn't said a word more and that she's awaiting a response.</p><p>"No! I'm just a little shocked is all. Very shocked. You aren't strange. Your body isn't strange. Your body is just so womanly--" Edelgard's eyes drift to her teacher's bust, the cleavage their exposed by a fairly conspicuous window in her top, "more than mine--so it's hard to believe. You don't look like a man at all. You don't sound like a man at all. Ah. Are you a man? Or are you a woman? I've been--<i>we've</i> been referring to you as a woman all this time but are you not? On the inside?"</p><p>"On the inside? I don't know. I've never thought to cut myself open."</p><p>
  <i>'Was that a joke?'</i>
</p><p>"No. You. In your head." Edelgard taps the side of her head. She realizes how stupid she must look when Byleth looks at her as if she is stupid. "Do you think of yourself as a man or a woman? Is the voice in your head a man's or a woman's?"</p><p>"Do other people have voices in their heads?" Byleth asks, and the way she tilts her head she looks genuinely confused.</p><p>
  <i>'She has to be joking.'</i>
</p><p>"My father asked me that before, if I thought of myself as a boy or as a girl." Byleth shrugs. "I still don't understand that question to be honest. People have called me many different things, but I don't think I've ever thought of myself as anything besides what I do. I'm a mercenary. I've been an assassin. I'm a teacher for now." Again, she shrugs.</p><p>"You can refer to me as whatever you want. Man or woman. It doesn't matter to me," she says, but she adds after a moment of deliberation, "but it is easier for me if you would continue referring to me as a woman in public since I don't look like a man. It'll become bothersome if I have to explain my circumstances too often."</p><p>It's confusing to her, and she isn't entirely sure she understands it at all, but Edelgard thinks little of her teacher's circumstances. As she already said, however Byleth's body may differ from other people's, it matters not to her. "You are so very unique, Byleth. My Byleth... The more I learn about you, the more I want you." No. What matters to Edelgard is the deepening of their relationship. Through secrets shared and intimate moments experienced together, a bond of trust is established. For the third time that night, Edelgard leans in to kiss Byleth, and this time she is successful.</p><p>It's an overwhelmingly deep kiss that leaves Byleth starved for air when they part ways. She is red in the face, glassy eyed with a string of saliva falling from her lips. This image proves more than satisfactory for Edelgard. She hugs Byleth close to her, resting her chin on her shoulder.</p><p>"Your proposal," Byleth tries to say even as she continues to catch her breath. "About me remaining in the Empire after I've helped you."</p><p>"Yes?" Here it comes.</p><p>"I can't promise you that I'll go with you right now. There are things here... People..."</p><p>People. Rhea.</p><p>Edelgard doesn't move in fear that her face may be seen if she does. She squeezes Byleth tighter but not enough for it to warrant any alarm. "You need time to think it over. I understand. That's fine. It's a life altering decision after all." It's a miracle, she thinks, that her frustration isn't revealed through her voice. "There are many moons left until graduation, so I'm sure you'll come around by then. You'll see that you belong with me."</p>
<hr/><p>"Oh. Claude. What a surprise," Dorothea says as she leads Edelgard into her room. Her motions are stiff and her voice just as much.</p><p>"What do you want?" Edelgard asks, none too thrilled at the sight of this unexpected guest.</p><p>"Not so much as a 'hello', huh? Guess that's to be expected," Claude mutters beneath his breath. "Dorothea, would you mind giving me and Edelgard a moment to talk in private?"</p><p>Dorothea helps Edelgard into bed and remains at her side yet, hesitant to move away. It makes Edelgard wonder if she should be more worried about Claude being there, but for the life of her, she cannot seem to muster anything besides mild annoyance from looking at his <i>stupid face</i>.</p><p>"Uh, sure, but does the professor know you're here? She was pretty explicit with her orders about whom to allow in."</p><p>"No worries. Not only does Teach know I'm here, she's also outside the manor." This news makes both women start. Dorothea out of excitement and Edelgard some emotion she cannot name. "I tried to get her to come up with me, but even getting her past the gate was a job in and of itself. She should still be there with Constance."</p><p>"If you want, Dorothea, you can try your hand at persuading her to come on up while Edelgard and I talk."</p><p>"I'll do just that!" The awkwardness in Dorothea's mannerisms are gone in an instant. She turns to Edelgard over-enthused and clasps her hands in her own. "I'll have her up these stairs in no time," she says. To which Edelgard can only smile half-heartedly. She almost runs out right then but stops in her tracks when she notices that Edelgard sits in bed unshackled. "Oh, I almost forgot..."</p><p>"You don't need to bother with those." Claude waves Dorothea off, and though she looks at him questioningly, she doesn't argue with him. She egresses from the room and makes her way downstairs to hopefully return with Byleth.</p><p>A minute or two is spent between the former emperor and the Duke Riegan sizing each other up. All throughout their staring match Claude wears a carefree smile, while Edelgard begins with a scowl that only grows deeper at the passing of each second. She is the first to speak.</p><p>"Are you sure you want me free to move about? Give me an opening and I just may take your head off where you sit."</p><p>Claude is only too happy to retaliate. It seems he had been waiting for this. "Oh, dearest me! Was that a threat, Edelgard? I'm shaking in my boots. Really, there's nothing you'd gain from it even if you could somehow kill me in the state you're in with that tubby belly. Simmer down." His words cause her to do just the opposite.</p><p>"I can think of a thing or two. Killing you would deny your Fódlan its ruler. Killing you would appease the souls of my fallen soldiers. And me, personally, I wouldn't mind watching that shit eating grin of yours disappear for good." While Claude intended for a bit of harmless banter, Edelgard seems to take their verbal bout much more seriously. Not a single ounce of humor exists within her voice.</p><p>"You really do have zero chill, huh?" Claude sighs, shaking his head slowly at Edelgard. "Y'know, my death would be just the excuse for Almyra to pour in through Fódlan's throat and try to overthrow the continent in its most vulnerable state. May not work, but it'll sure make an even bigger mess of an already big mess. I know you don't want that. Not to mention I've already had to deal with a number of assassins sent courtesy of my siblings. Don't need you making things easier for them."</p><p>A sneer appears deep set into Edelgard's face, but she doesn't push the topic any further. She says to him wearily, "What do you want, Claude? Have you come to ridicule me? Rub your victory in my face? If that's the case, just kill me now. I don't want to hear it. In fact, I hope that's what you're actually here to do. Whether I die or you die, I won't have to see your shitty face ever again."</p><p>"For the love of... I haven't come here for any of that. Looks like you've been beating yourself up enough for the both of us anyway. I'm just here to talk. And to impart a couple gifts unto you." From the satchel on the floor Claude pulls out two books, one small and bound in brown leather and the other a hefty black thing with metal clasps at the edges of its cover, the one he'd been reading earlier. He tosses them both on the night table beside Edelgard's bed. "Figured being cooped up in here all day with nothing to do could get pretty boring."</p><p>Edelgard regards the books with a pensive eye that she then turns on Claude, but he offers her nothing more than a smile and a hand ushering her to pick them up. She does so with some reluctance, first picking up the large black tome. She mumbles an incantation and flicks her finger at the candle beside her, setting it alight and offering herself better lighting to read. "<i>The Howling: Journeys Into the Land of the Dead</i>... Fiction? I'm not interested."</p><p>"You're not even going to take a peek? I know the title sounds pretty off-putting, but... Well, from what little I've read of it the title is quite fitting with how dismal it is."</p><p>"So you're giving me a depressing piece of literature that you've not even put the effort into finishing? Wow, Claude. How generous of you."</p><p>"Actually, it's not from me per se. That book comes courtesy of Rhea believe it or not. I just skimmed through it to see what exactly gets the Archbishop Seal of Approval."</p><p>"Now I'm really not interested." Edelgard chucks the book on the floor without so much as a second thought. She grimaces when she sees Claude picking it up and setting it back on her night table. She tosses it to the ground again. And Claude picks it up again. When she attempts to do it a third time, he slides the night table over and sets the book just out of her reach at the far end of the table. He moves the other book closer.</p><p>"Oh, don't be like that," Claude says as he retakes his seat. "You may find it hard to believe but she's constantly worrying about you. Given her living conditions for the past five years I'd have thought she'd want you dead more than anyone else, but here she is sending you her favorite book and her well wishes. And I guess you two couldn't have been on the worst of terms considering you told her you were pregnant. ...Probably could've kept her locked up somewhere not as fucking awful if that was the case. Just sayin'."</p><p>Edelgard nearly snaps out of reflex, a snarl that she had never told Rhea a thing hot on her tongue, but she stops herself as she realizes something odd. She had not told Rhea. She could not have told Rhea. The knowledge that she was with child had not yet come to her, and when it had it was through Rhea. Bound with chains and crouched low within a cell that could barely fit a twelve year old Edelgard let alone a fully grown woman of her stature, Rhea had lifted her head and proclaimed the unthinkable--what, to Edelgard's dismay, turned out to be true. And months later, somehow Byleth had possessed that same knowledge.</p><p><i>'How had they known?'</i> The question resounds in Edelgard's head aplenty, and with no answer in sight it only seems to grow louder. She looks at Claude and only briefly considers asking him if he may know the answer before rebuking herself. The buffoon before her won't know. The only two who do know either refuse to see her or she would refuse to see herself.</p><p>"In any case, I'm not taking the book back. It'll be sitting there until you're ready to open it up." Claude continues on none the wiser of Edelgard's brief conundrum. He gestures to the next book. "Moving right along, why don't you pick up that other one. That one's all me, no Rhea."</p><p>"As if that's any better." Despite her remark, Edelgard does go on to pick up the book. She reads the title and... There is no title. She turns it over and looks at its spine. Nothing. "Is this a diary?" she asks, but Claude just sits in his chair watching her and smiling at her. She opens the diary, annoyed but honestly curious to whom it belongs. She sees a name she has not heard in years. Jeralt Reus Eisner.</p><p>"Why do you have this?"</p><p>A face splitting shit-eating grin appears on Claude's face. He looks beyond elated to explain himself. "Teach allowed me to take a look inside five years back. Never had a chance to return it to her since you pulled that war stunt. I figured you'd find some of the details within it very intriguing. Maybe skip all the lovey dovey passages about Teach's mom though. Captain Jeralt was a man of many talents but a poet he was not."</p><p>What Claude says does not register to Edelgard. Her attention is completely on the existence of the diary itself and it previously being in Claude's possession. "Byleth's birth... Her childhood... He's written about them in here?"</p><p>"I mean, she is his kid," Claude chuckles in response. The mirth in his voice soon drains away, however. The smile remains on his face, but he adopts a more subdued tone. "If you're asking what I think you're asking then the answer is 'yes'. I know the baby's hers. It didn't take long for me to piece together what went on between you two."</p><p>"So why haven't you told anyone?" Edelgard asks, still unable to pry her eyes away from the diary or open it any further. If he had spoken of their entanglement, Dorothea would have surely known by now.</p><p>"Because it isn't my place to do so," is all Claude says. "Why haven't you?"</p><p>Why hadn't she?</p><p>"Fewer of you would call for my immediate execution if you knew it was hers," is how Edelgard answers. It's what makes the most sense to her.</p><p>"Oh yeah? Cool." Claude looks entirely unconvinced, but he does not push her any further on the subject. He shrugs. "That aside, there are more alarming details concerning her birth that I think you should know about. I implore you to read the entries set around the Horsebow Moon of 1159. But you can do that on your own time." He's suddenly out of his seat, right beside her. Claude plucks the diary from Edelgard's hands, juggling it away as she tries to snatch it back. He backs away and sets it atop the other book. "I've got questions I've been dying to ask you, young lady. Hopefully these offerings of mine have warmed that icy exterior of yours enough for you to answer them?"</p><p>Edelgard scoffs, no longer in a state of pure stupification.</p><p>"Is that how you think this works? That I'll acquiesce to your demands simply because you've brought me a couple of books to help pass the time? You're more foolish than you look." She's not surprised when her words are met with laughter. Claude, ever the fool that he is, would find this situation comedic. No, her surprise comes when the man's laughter ends abruptly.</p><p>"Edelgard," he says her name, slowly moving back toward her. He stops when he sees she's turned bodily toward him, backed up into the corner of the room her bed is in. She's like a cat. He half expects her to hiss at him. "One: I'm not demanding anything of you. I'm asking you. Two: I know you're going to answer my questions."</p><p>"Do you now?" Edelgard's voice comes with plenty of bite, she still being on high alert.</p><p>"I do," Claude responds cheerily, brimming with confidence. "Because they concern the professor--or should I say <i>Byleth</i>--and you just showed beyond a shadow of a doubt how much you still care for her." He expects some kind of rebuttal. He expects her to deny his accusations and scream for him to get out, but he gets none of that.</p><p>Edelgard's face burns crimson, and whether it be out of anger or sheer embarrassment, Claude cannot tell. He realizes it to be a mixture of both more leaning toward the former when he sees her seething, hunched over, sucking in air through clenched teeth. He thinks he heard a hiss.</p><p>"...Ask your questions then get the fuck out," she says, settling into her bed again, the position she had been crouched proving too much a burden for her.</p><p>It's a good start. He was half right. He thinks to congratulate her for being compliant but changes his mind, realizing that will definitely get him kicked out.</p><p>"Alright. It's simple enough," Claude smiles. "Can you tell me what happened in the throne room that day? From the moment Teach appeared up to the moment you saw me and the others come in."</p><p>Edelgard is still red hot, furious and feeling overexposed, but not so much that she is unable to see the bizarre nature of Claude's inquiry. "Why ask me and not the professor herself?"</p><p>Claude visibly deflates. He sucks his teeth and shakes his head, muttering under his breath, "Why are you so damn difficult? Just answer the fucking question." He does answer her question though, loudly and over Edelgard's shouts asking to be excused and for him to repeat himself.</p><p>"I have, but she only says so much. There are a couple of blatant omissions in her retelling of events, and when I try to press her on them she just clams up. No matter who asks her..." Again, he shakes his head. "Nothing. She doesn't even acknowledge the question. You were the only other living person present, so naturally here I am."</p><p>Edelgard's eyes narrow, still feeling as though she is being trifled with. "What do you mean by 'omissions'? If you weren't there to witness what happened how can you know that she's omitted anything?"</p><p>"I'm not nearly half the fool you think me to be, Claude. If you want my help then give me good reason to give it."</p><p>Claude massages his neck, seemingly debating on whether or not he should say what he is about to. He sighs, says "Fuck it" and throws caution to the wind. "The Sword of the Creator is missing, and we think Teach killed Dedue. When Lysithea warped her in to deal with you, she had the sword on her but not when we arrived. There's been no sign of it since. As for Dedue, it was first assumed that you or someone aligned with you killed him, but during a somewhat heated discussion over what to do with you Teach said otherwise. Didn't go into any specifics. Just said you weren't responsible. I'm sure you can see why we think she did it."</p><p>"Wait, wait." Edelgard puts a hand to her head, confused and trying to make sense of what she had just been told. "This is all... The sword is missing? She had it during our confrontation. She did drop it, I think, but... No... What happened next?"</p><p>What did happen next? The point up to Byleth letting go of her sword and collapsing to her knees is all she can remember. Past that everything is mired in a thick black haze that she cannot seem to penetrate. Trying to only leaves her fatigued.</p><p>"Ugh. I don't know."</p><p>Claude sighs dejectedly, remarking how he had been doing far too much of that lately. "Lysithea said the spell she used to put you under could obscure your memories of what happened just before for some time, but it's been weeks. Kinda hoped everything would have come back to you by now."</p><p>Edelgard still holds her head in hand as she pulls herself out of the haze. It takes some doing, her mind naturally wandering back in whenever something familiar begins to tickles her senses, the feeling that she is on the brink of recalling something important. The feeling is persistent and nagging and causes her to groan. It drains her.</p><p>"You alright?"</p><p>"I'm fine," Edelgard says. She lets go of her head as she feels herself successfully stumbling out of the haze. It leaves her groggy, ready to put an end to this questioning and get some much needed sleep. "Is that all you have to ask? It should be abundantly clear now that I won't be of any help."</p><p>"I still need answers about Dedue."</p><p>"Of course..."</p><p>"He entered the room before Teach, right?" Claude's question is leading, and the look on his face tells Edelgard just how much he wants it to be answered in the affirmative. She's almost too happy to do just the opposite.</p><p>"No. I have no recollection of him being there. None at all."</p><p>"Something told me that would be the case."</p><p>She does not know why she should care, but Edelgard asks anyway. "Why does it matter if she killed Dedue? During the battle at Gronder Field you collided with the remnants of the Faerghus Royal Army just as I did. Or did you somehow make nice in the midst of us all slaughtering each other?"</p><p>"I wouldn't say that, but we weren't quite on kill-on-sight terms once it was all over. He outright refused to work with us when we happened upon him in Enbarr and could hardly be considered an ally, but he did have friends among us. They'd already lost so much, so to find him the way we did," he shakes his head, "it wasn't easy for them."</p><p>"That said, I can understand why she had to kill him given the circumstances. Guy had a real hate boner for you. I'm sure even our friends from Faerghus would come to terms with it too if she would just speak up, but it's her silence that's causing all this friction."</p><p>"Heh." Edelgard looses drowsy laughter. She does not care to hear of the losses of others when her own amount to more than a country's worth. That and she never liked Dedue; she almost wishes she could recall the scene of Byleth cutting him apart. "I can't say I'm entirely dissatisfied with the knowledge you all have been bickering over the matter of keeping me alive. A part of me hopes your efforts amount to nil, that you crest-bearing Seiros sycophants destroy yourselves from within because of little old me."</p><p>Claude looks by and far unimpressed. "Uhuh. And the other part of you?"</p><p>Edelgard shifts uncomfortably in her bed. It's a question she halfway expected, but she is unable to answer it all the same. She's much too tired anyhow. She sneers at Claude before turning over in her bed, pulling her sheets up to her neck.</p><p>"Well, you'll figure it out." While Claude's tone is not upbeat, it isn't exactly discouraged. It almost prompts Edelgard to ask him why he said it. Of course, she does not.</p><p>There's a knock at the door.</p><p>"Come on in."</p><p>Edelgard does not move a muscle. She's too tired, and she's sure it's just Dorothea and no one else.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I couldn't get her to come in."</p><p>She's right, and she's happy she didn't put forth the effort to sit up.</p><p>"Thanks for trying anyway, Dorothea. I can't say I hadn't figured that would be the case. But no worries!" Cheer returns to Claude's voice. "She'll have no choice but to show her face in here once we've made our triumphant return from our final battle. Gonna have to hash out the exact details of this here prisoner's punishment amongst other things."</p><p>"What's to discuss?" Edelgard mumbles from beneath her sheets. "Once I've delivered the child take my head and be done with it. Or you can do it before then. Either way."</p><p>There's an awkward silence followed by the sucking of teeth and a shaky breath of air.</p><p>"You are one macabre little woman," Claude says. "Just won't quit it with this whole wanting to die thing, will you?" She can hear him walking toward her. She feels the weight of his hand pressing into the bed beside her head, and the hairs on the back of her neck raise when he speaks so quietly and so close to her ear. "No, that would be far too easy on you. Already got the perfect punishment in mind anyway..." She swings at him.</p><p>Claude catches Edelgard's wrist as she attempts to backhand him. He laughs. It's not nearly enough to take his head off, but it surely would have left him with a broken nose. He holds her tight even as she tries to wrench herself out of his grip and Dorothea moves to separate them. "Shaking in my boots," he says. He releases Edelgard from his hold and lets her fall a short distance back onto her bed.</p><p>Claude backs off bellowing laughter. He collects his satchel and makes for the door. "Phew. I'll be taking my leave for now. Thanks again, Dorothea." He walks out the door but pops back in before it can even close. He points a finger at Edelgard, winking. "Don't neglect your homework, Edelgard. We'll be having a test when next we meet."</p><p>Edelgard nurses her wrist as she hatefully glares at the door. Dorothea rubs her back and tells her that she's okay. She begins to tell her about Byleth. She tries to look happy despite her failure.</p><p>"She asked about you. A ton."</p><p>"But she wouldn't come in."</p><p>Dorothea's faux happiness falters. She ceases to rub Edelgard's back. "No. She wouldn't. I'm sorry, Edie."</p><p>She's still tired--far too tired--and dealing with Claude has left her beyond agitated, and Byleth--she tries not to think about Byleth.  But seeing her friend look so downtrodden, Edelgard cannot help but offer her a kind word despite herself. "It's fine, Dorothea. Thank you. I appreciate you."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The walk back to the monastery proper is a quiet affair punctuated by the whipping and howling of the nighttime winds. A storm draws near. Claude distracts himself with thoughts of how the inclement weather may impede their march into Leicester. Leading an army even a fraction of the size of the one used to take Enbarr through a downpour and muddy terrain would set them back much farther than he had originally anticipated their arrival to Hubert's coordinates. Perhaps a small but elite force of advanced and master class mages and fighters would be more well suited to the task? He can already see it, the bulk of his friends from across Fódlan come together in a strike force spearheaded by the picture definition of friendship and unity itself, both him and the professor. A marvelous idea! But what shall he call it? The Golden Deer Strike Force perhaps?</p><p>"Did you find out what you wanted to know?"</p><p>Claude finds his reverie cut short by the distant voice of his former teacher. Brought back to the here and now, he takes his time observing her before he answers. She has foregone all her usual clothing and armor save for her shorts and a simple black shirt. Steadily does she continue walking uphill, her bare feet scraping cobblestone yet unmarred, unsullied by the dirt of the road. Her back to him and several steps ahead, she appears untouchable in more than one sense of the word.</p><p>"I know you killed Dedue," Claude announces loudly, knowing they are well out of earshot of anyone else who might have heard, but it fails to get even the smallest of reactions from Byleth, "to stop him from killing Edelgard," he finishes softly. "But that's nothing new. That and... Nothing."</p><p>"I see. Will you tell the others?"</p><p>It feels as though they've gone back to square one, back to those first days after her arrival to Garreg Mach when she barely even felt like a real human to him. It pains Claude, the distance accumulating not only between the two of them but between her and so many of their friends.</p><p>"Will you tell them why you did it? Will you tell them it's your baby?" Claude says just as loudly.</p><p>It's impossible to miss, the way her body seizes up when he says that. Claude realizes then that she is not entirely out of reach. However, she keeps on walking. She does not turn back, does not say a word to him. "Then my answer is 'no'. I trust you, Teach, even now that you're keeping secrets from us. I know you wouldn't if it wasn't for a good reason, so I won't say anything. Not until you decide to come clean about it all yourself."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In case it wasn't sufficiently explained up above, Byleth can be considered agender in this story. She doesn't have a conscience/inner voice aside from Sothis and has difficulty looking at herself introspectively, and that lends to her lack of identity. She has no pronoun preferences. She doesn't mind being called a man. He doesn't mind being called a woman. Just don't call 'em late for dinner. *harr, harr, harr*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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